When you are pregnant and preparing for baby, there are several things most parents do to get ready. Expectant parents spend a lot of time preparing baby’s room, dealing with insurance, increasing or getting life insurance and taking parenting classes. However, many don’t spend any time at all preparing their marriage for the arrival of the baby.

Countless parents (if not all parents) will tell you their marriage changed dramatically after the birth of the baby. Many of these changes are good, but some are not. In some cases, the relationship gets neglected or there is not consensus in parenting decisions and responsibilities. This often breeds resentment.

In fact, for many couples, children aren’t cited high on the list in terms of marital fulfillment. A survey conducted by the Pew Center and reported in The Washington Post showed that children aren’t at the top of the list in terms of a successful marriage. Factors such as faithfulness, sex, household chore distribution and economic issues were listed ahead of having kids as a feature of a successful marriage.

There are a few things you can do to prepare your relationship for children and to avoid the pitfalls of adding parenthood to the dynamics of your relationship. One important step to take is to pay attention to each other. It is unbelievably easy to neglect each other once your day becomes about breastfeeding, diaper changes and getting baby to sleep. It takes concentrated effort to stay connected to each other.

One way many couples deal with this is to set regular date nights. The frequency can vary from once a week to once a month, but it’s important to spend time away from the baby and focused on each other. While you are still pregnant and don’t have to line up a babysitter, start the tradition of regular date nights. It will be easier to continue it after the baby is born.

Since issues such as chore distribution and economic factors rank high on the list of marital satisfaction, pay attention to these areas. In terms of chore distribution, it is common for mom and dad to be at odds. In some cases, the husband feels that since his wife is home all day, it is her job. This isn’t entirely realistic with a newborn in the house.

In other cases, the woman works during the pregnancy and returns to work after the baby is born. Surveys have repeatedly shown that women continue to do the lion’s share of the housework, even when they work full time. This may be the result of patterns from families of origin being repeated in the marriage. Both situations can breed resentment in the wife.

You can avoid this pitfall by discussing chore distribution before the baby is born. Be honest about your expectations and come up with a schedule that is agreeable to both partners. Having these details ironed out in advance is the best way to avoid one spouse feeling angry and resentful later.

Do the same with economic issues, parenting philosophies and other hot button issues. Spend time discussing the finances and how they will change after the baby is born. Create a budget and determine how money will be spent together. If you have different ideas about infant care, spend time reading and talking about it while you are still pregnant. This can avoid dissatisfaction and disagreements later.

by Patricia Hughes

Music for the Baby

Toys, music CDs and other merchandise designed to provide music to unborn and newborn babies tout the positive effects of music on developing babies. Expectant parents may wonder if they should purchase these products, or fear they are putting their baby at a disadvantage if they don't listen to enough, or the right kind of music. Expert opinions vary regarding whether music has a positive effect.

Various studies conducted over the past two decades have demonstrated the ability of the fetus to hear sound. The inner ear is fully developed in last trimester of pregnancy. By 26 weeks, most respond with an increase in heart rate to sound stimulation. Many studies have pointed to the change in heart rate as a positive sign that the baby is stimulated by the music.

One study published in the Music Educators Journal looked at the effect of exposure to music in the prenatal period. Some participants were given music in the womb, either sedating or stimulating musical selections. After the birth of the baby, the parents and infants visited the researcher, and a range of activities and responses were observed by researchers. The study found that exposure to music in the prenatal period seemed to be linked to increased attention, more sound imitation and earlier vocalization in the baby.

Most of what the fetus hears is the mother's voice and internal sounds of the mother's body, such as breathing, movements and other sounds. There have been many studies that suggest the mother's voice is the preferred sound of newborns, who appear to recognize their mother's voice at birth. Singing along with music makes sense because it gives baby the opportunity to hear your voice and music.

It makes sense that stimulation of the brain with music would have a positive effect. It is when the baby is growing in the mother's body that the majority of brain development occurs. The idea behind research into music exposure during the pregnancy is designed to enhance the development of the brain with appropriate stimuli. Research continues into this subject and determining which music has the most positive effect.

Not all scientists agree that music has positive effects on the fetus. Some reject the theory that an increase in heart rate signals a positive response in the fetus. One such researcher is University of California neuroscientist Gordon Shaw. Shaw suggests the change could be a signal the baby is not comfortable with the sound.

There is some evidence to suggest the type of music may influence the baby's response. Soothing, classical music and nature sounds are believed to be soothing, while louder types of music may startle the baby.

Another factor is the volume of the music, which could be played too loudly. Some people believe the sounds are muffled and increase the volume or put speakers or headphones on the abdomen directly playing into the baby's head. Sound is conducted by the amniotic fluid and it is easy for this method to produce music that is too loud for the baby.

It's important to note that there are no long term studies that demonstrate listening to music in the womb will influence the baby's intelligence or translate into success in learning later. However, this idea is based on anecdotal evidence that classical music stimulates different areas of the brain, which is thought to stimulate better connections in the brain. The hypothesis is that the increase in connectors will result in enhanced memory and information processing functions of the brain later. This theory has yet to be proven with research, and may or may not turn out to be the case.

Whether or not exposure to music will make baby smarter, there is some evidence to suggest soft music, such as quiet classical music and nature sounds have a calming effect on the baby. This often continues after birth. Many babies are soothed by the same soft music they heard during the pregnancy and recognize the rhythm. Several studies have demonstrated the newborn's ability to recognize certain music selections that were played during pregnancy.

Music benefits mom by helping to her to relax or lifting a low mood. That is good for the baby because research has demonstrated that baby is affected by mom's emotions. So, choose music that you find relaxing and not too loud. Loud music is not good, as it can startle the baby. A general rule of thumb is to keep the music to the level that is played in stores.

Products are sold to parents as essential tools for playing music for the baby and reaping any benefit that may result from music exposure. A typical style is a belt that is worn around the belly to project the music to the baby. Check the decibel level to make sure the music is at a comfortable level for baby. These products are nice, but not necessary. Because the amniotic fluid conducts sound well, playing music in the background as you go about your day works too.

Playing the Baby Clothespin Game where everytime you say 'Baby' you get a clothespin added to your sting necklace

by Patricia Hughes

Baby shower games are a part of nearly every baby shower. If you are hosting a shower, the task of selecting games and entertaining guests may seem daunting. Fortunately, planning baby shower games doesn't have to be stressful or expensive. Here are some ideas for easy baby shower games that don't require many supplies or additional work.

How big is Mommy's belly? This is a game that has been played at showers for years, but remains popular. It's also an easy and inexpensive one to prepare. All you need is some yarn and a pair of scissors. For this game, each guest cuts a piece of yarn to a size they think will fit mom's waist. The guests with the yarn nearest to mom's belly wins!

Baby Gear Alphabet: This is another game that is easy to plan. Paper and pens are all that is needed. Guests list the letters of the alphabet down one side of the page and fill in a baby item for each letter of the alphabet. For example, Amby, Bottle, Car seat, Diaper…and so on. A variation of this game is to make a list of as many baby items as possible and the one with the most items wins.

Baby Pictionary: Divide the guests into two teams and play a baby version of pictionary. Make cards prior to the shower with baby related phrases. The game works just like the traditional Pictionary game. One person from each team chooses a card and draws what is written and team mates try to guess the phrase.

Guess that Baby: For this game, you'll need to have each person bring a picture of themselves as a baby. Display the pictures and have the guests match the baby pictures to the guests at the shower. The person with the most correct guesses wins.

How Many in the Jar: Most people are familiar with this game, as a variation is played in many situations. Fill a jelly jar with any small object, such as diaper pins, newborn pacifiers, Q-tips or any other small object. The guests need to guess how many are in the jar to win the prize.

Don't Say the Word (or Never Say Baby): This is a common game that has been played in different variations at many showers I've attended over the years. The host chooses a word; often "baby" and the guests aren't allowed to say that word. Other words that can be used include the baby's name, the gender of the baby or any other related word. Necklaces are given to the guests and when a guest says the forbidden word, another can take the necklace. Whoever has the most necklaces at the end of the shower wins a prize.

Unscramble the Word: Make a list of baby gear or words and scramble the words. For example, the word blanket could be ktnaelb. Set a time limit, such as five or ten minutes and the person with the most words unscrambled wins the game.

New Parent Trivia: This game lets guests show off how well they know the mother, or mother and father to be. Depending on the guest list, you will decide whether to use questions about just mom or mom and dad. Create a list of questions about the mother or the couple and the guests need to answer the questions. The one with the most correct answers wins.

What is it? You will need blindfolds and small baby items that you can hold in your hand. The guests wear blindfolds and the host places an item in the palm of the hand. Using only touch, the guest must figure out what they are holding. Things like pacifiers are easy, so select more difficult or unusually shaped items to make the game more interesting.

There are numerous websites on the internet with baby shower games for sale as well as free games you can print from your home computer. One site with some good printable games is http://www.plan-the-perfect-baby-shower.com/ .  Some of the printable games include bingo, scavenger hunts and trivia games.

Ideas for Prizes

Most baby shower games involve some sort of prize for the winner. Depending on the number of games that will be played, this can get expensive. You don't have to spend a fortune on shower prizes. The local grocery store or dollar store is a good source of inexpensive prizes, many for $1 each or less. Some easy and inexpensive ideas for shower prizes:

• Lotions
• Refrigerator magnets
• Small notebook or journal
• Note cards
• Candles
• Nail polish
• Bath products
• Packages of baking mixes (muffins, cookies)
• Small picture frames
• Seed packets

Other ideas include Finish the Baby Rhyme, and Guess the Baby Item where the person is blindfolded and had to guess the item handed to them. These are just a few of so many fun baby shower games. Hopefully give you a start on a fun and enjoyable baby shower. If you have some ideas ideas, go to the bottom of this page and you can share them with everyone!

When you find out you are pregnant, a range of emotions often run through your mind. Initial joy can quickly be replaced by fear and anxiety. This is because whilst expecting a baby can be a wonderful experience, it can also be really stressful too as you try to prepare for your new arrival. Some mothers don’t even plan anything at all until the last minute as at first nine months seems like a really long time. However, you will soon find that the earlier you start preparing for your baby the better.

What You Need to Think About

The main thing which most new parents think about when it comes to a new baby is the nursery. However, there is so much more to consider; especially if this is your first child.

You need to think about:

• Clothing
• Diapers
• Nursery furniture
• Changing equipment
• General, everyday accessories

All of the above are essential for your baby and so you need to ensure that you get absolutely everything in. It is the smaller things which most people forget to purchase and that can be stressful when the baby actually arrives.

General items, such as diapers, shampoo, nursing pads and blankets, should all be readily available. Also, another important thing which you should definitely not forget is a car seat for when you bring your baby home from hospital. As important as it is, many new parents do forget the car seat and then they are stuck when it comes to driving the baby home.

Changing supplies will come in extremely handy. Cotton wool balls and baby wipes will be used on a daily basis and so you need to have a good supply in ready. You also need to think about where you are going to change the baby. Is there a safe place you can place the baby down while you change them? Many people use their sofas but this is not always the best idea. So if you have space for a changing table, that would be your best option. Also remember to keep the changing supplies near to where you will be changing the baby. This ensures that you do not have to leave the baby on his own for any length of time.

There is so much to think about with a new arrival. If you do not prepare yourself and your home as soon as possible, it could prove to be extremely stressful later on in your pregnancy. Obviously you do not want to become too stressed so start planning as soon as you can if you want to stay as healthy and as happy as possible throughout your pregnancy.

Anticipating the arrival of a new baby is an exciting experience. There are a number of preparations to be made, and many decisions to make. One of the most important decisions that parents have to make – especially mothers – has to do with the nourishment of the child. A mother must determine whether she will breastfeed her child, or feed her child through the use of a bottle.

I know how difficult that this type of decision is. I have been there, and had to make the decision as well. Here, I will expound on some of the pros and cons related to breastfeeding. I feel that it is important to know and understand these so that you can make a better informed decision overall.

Pros

Now, when it comes to the advantages of breastfeeding, there are many different ones. These advantages affect both the mother and the child. Many medical professionals feel as if breastfeeding is the right choice of nutrition for newborns. This is because of the fact that milk that comes from the breasts contains a high level of nutrients, vitamins, and other essentials that are beneficial to the health. Refer to the list below for a more detailed description of some of the pros of breastfeeding:

1. One of the most common issues that women experience after giving birth is getting all of the weight off that they have acquired while carrying the child. By breastfeeding, the body will naturally burn calories. This will result in less weight, and the extra weight to burn off more quickly.

2. One of the main issues that new parents experience is the many new expenses that are encountered when a child arrives. By breastfeeding, you can save a lot of money annually. There is actually no need to purchase formula when you breastfeed.

3. The next advantage to feeding your child by this method is that there is a lot of flexibility. If you want to feed directly from the breast, you can. If you want to pump the breasts and then store the milk in bottles for later feedings, you can do this as well. This makes feeding extremely simple and convenient.

4. It has been discovered, through scientific studies and medical case studies, that women who feed their child in this manner are less susceptible to developing serious health complications like breast cancer and even ovarian cancer.

5. The next advantage to breastfeeding a newborn child is that this is part of the natural bonding process. It is important to bond as early as possible, and breastfeeding starts on day one of the child’s life!

Cons
Believe it or not, there are actually some cons when it comes to breastfeeding. While these disadvantages can be easily over powered with the advantages, in order to make a decision on whether or not this is the right choice for you and your family, it is only best to consider these things as well. The following list details the disadvantages many have found while breastfeeding:

1. The first disadvantage is that when a mother breastfeeds, it puts a lot of pressure on her. Ultimately, as a mother, you will be responsible for every single feeding that your child experiences. Sure, it is true that you can pump the breasts in order to store milk and/or allow others to feed the baby; this can also prove to be a large hassle.

2. While breastfeeding, you may notice that you feel more tired than usual. This is because this drains a lot of energy from the body. In addition to this, you may start to experience dryness in the nipple area, as well as other aches and pains. These symptoms are generally relieved by various over-the-counter pain medications, but many do feel this is one of the down sides to feeding in this manner.

3. Those that wish to work from home or go back into the workforce may find it difficult to find time to do the things that they need to do on a daily basis. The average newborn feeds approximately three to four hours a day, and for the busy woman, this may prove to be a burden on the schedule.

4. Many women find it uncomfortable to breastfeed in front of other people. This means that special care and consideration should be made when going somewhere because you do not want to have to feed the child while you are away.

5. Breastfeeding has often been deemed as a difficult task to accomplish. Learning how to perform this can be a bit challenging and you may find yourself becoming upset or anxious as a result of it.

Summary

Breastfeeding is a very important consideration when it comes to the overall nutrition of a child. If you are considering the possibility of providing this type of nutrition to your child, you should weigh the pros and cons associated with the decision.

by Jennifer Shakeel

Many expectant parents are swept up in the romance of having a new baby. We tend to get so excited over the arrival of baby that we forget to think about the changes that are going to take place, whether we want them to or not. As wonderful as being a new parent is, whether this is your first child or second or third, having a baby will change your life forever.

I think that it is a given that restful nights of sleep are a thing of the past, and for at least one parent, so are regular showers. New parents often sleep two or three hours at a time, because their infant has a bi-hourly or tri-hourly feeding schedule. It often happens that the parent has just fallen asleep only to awake to their infant’s crying. This irregular sleeping schedule changes little throughout the average baby’s first year of life. I laugh at this really; I have three children, the first two slept through the night from the moment they came out. The most recent addition to our family though, has an agenda all her own. Some nights she sleeps through the night, some nights she is up every 45 minutes, other nights she is up ever two or three hours. I have decided that it depends on where the moon is sitting in the sky and the direction of the wind.

On top of the sudden sleep-deprivation, caring for baby requires a tremendous exertion of energy. As a new parent there are the givens, you have to continually feed your baby, burp it, and change its diapers. It is also important that you monitor baby—even if the baby is napping—to ensure his breathing is regular. Many infants are also colicky, in which case you have to redouble the time you spend trying to soothe their crying. Or they could be like our new daughter, who has days where she likes to be awake all day. Not that she is fussy, or spends the day screaming (though there are those days as well) she just doesn’t want to sleep. Which is another challenge if you happen to work from home as I do; my work day has gone from 6 to 8 hours to maybe 2 hours if I am lucky. And in those two hours I am trying to shower and take care of the house as well.

A baby changes your life so dramatically because you no longer live for yourself. You can no longer decide at whim to travel out-of-town, see a film, or go shopping because you have an infant who needs your constant care. On the flip side, many new parents find that their lives are more focused because they anchor their lives on their child. For example, they start to think about savings plans for their infants’ college funds. As a result, because their financial necessities have shifted to their baby, new parents no longer spend for themselves as they did before parenthood.

Besides these more structural changes, many new parents feel changes in their own relationship with each other after the birth of their child. Many new parents clash with each other over the baby’s feeding and sleeping schedule. For example, as much as I couldn’t wait for our new daughter’s arrival, once she was here I wanted to be pregnant with her again so that I didn’t have to share her with anyone. Her dad is wonderful, and her older sister and brother were just as excited about her being her and everyone wanted to pitch in and help and hold her and all the fun stuff, but at the same time I wanted to just be left alone with her. Depending on the occupational situation, one parent may stay at home most of the time with the newborn while the other goes to work. Other parents may split equal time caring for the baby, especially at night when parents take turns sleeping.

New parents often see their social life drastically taper down, because their newborn does not usually take well to restaurants or other outings. Again, this is going to depend on your baby and how you two are as a couple. We like to go out to dinner a couple times a month. It is something that our older children look forward to, so we didn’t want to stop that just because of the baby. Fortunately, our new baby likes to sleep through dinner out at a restaurant. We took her out for the first time when she was just 4 days old. Furthermore, it becomes difficult for friends to visit because parents devote most of their attention to the child. Because of this situation, many parents make new friends with other parents, so they can jointly take care of their children while spending time together. I have to say, I am one of those group parenting people. Most of our friends have children the same ages as our children. And sometimes it is a rock, paper, scissors to see which parent is going to correct the children when we are all together.

It is true that a new baby can place huge stress on a couple’s relationship. You may know a couple who fight constantly about their children, and have differing ideas of what’s best for their children. Many couples attest that they never fought until they had children. They may fight because one partner feels that the other is not doing his or her share of the childcare work, or some other expectation was not met. It is important that you and your partner create an open line of communication with each other. Hormones aside, you need to talk about what you are feeling and so does the father of the baby. Remember that before you were parents you were a couple, and from now on you will be both.

There are also stresses arising from the new family structure. Many new fathers, for instance, often feel a sense of neglect as the mother devotes her attention almost exclusively to the infant. In truth, caring for the infant so exclusively is 100% natural, because a new mother is genetically wired to pay full attention to the infant’s needs. Therefore, there is no need for a father to feel jealousy or emotional hurt from the mother’s preoccupation with the child, though these feelings are common. Fortunately, as the infant matures, the couple’s relationship often returns to normal.

Many parents also experience a lack of sex life for the first year of the baby’s birth, because physical and emotional exhaustion take a toll on their sex drive. Then there are new parents who have an increased sex drive. Be open with one another, now more than every talking to one another is incredibly important.
Most parents are deeply interested in witnessing their infant’s development, from tracking its motor skills to its first smile. They also happily spend hours of time bonding with their baby by napping with it, playing with it, and feeding it. While these activities may seem boring to outsiders, they are hugely enjoyable to new parents.

Having a new baby may also make you stop and think about the different activities you do. You may start to question whether going on that motorcycle ride without a helmet is a good idea. Staying out late having a good adult time may not be something you are as interested in now that there is a new little person that is depending on you. Parents who may not even have locked their front door before having a child now do it without thought, because they place a premium on their child’s safety.

Though there is little doubt your new baby will cause an overhaul on your life, you will just as likely savor every minute of it because your new arrival will captivate you. Many parents attest that the first year of life goes all too fast, and it’s a good bet you will feel the same. I know I did…

Biography
Jennifer Shakeel is a writer and former nurse with over 12 years medical experience.  As a mother of two incredible children with one on the way, I am here to share with you what I have learned about parenting and the joys and changes that take place during pregnancy. Together we can laugh and cry and rejoice in the fact that we are moms!

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved 

While it may seem as though being pregnant for nine months can last for years, especially the last trimester, it really doesn’t. Before you know it your pregnancy will be complete and you will have a beautiful baby boy or girl. The question is, are you ready for baby to come home? Do you have the essentials? I don’t mean the baby’s room necessarily, though a crib or basinet is important, but I do mean the items that you are going to need to take care of your baby once she/he is longer inside you.

Let’s start with the basics, diapers and wipes. Whether you are planning on using cloth diapers or disposable diapers you need to make sure that you have plenty of them on hand. If you are going to use disposable diapers I recommend that you at least have one package of newborn diapers, which typically will fit a baby up to 8 pounds. I wouldn’t go and buy a case of diapers until baby is born and you know his weight, because you don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of diapers that baby can’t wear. As far as wipes go, I always opt for the natural ones that are for sensitive skin. That is just a personal preference.

Next let’s talk about clothes. I know that everyone likes to go out and buy all of these adorable little outfits for baby. Which is wonderful, but you also need to be practical. Make sure that you have atleast ten onesies. These are the little undergarments that cover baby’s torso and snap over the diaper. I would even go as far as to recommend that you go to a second hand store to get these. Why? Two reasons, you need a number of them and they are going to be spit up and pooed on. You can buy brand new ones as well, but there are a number of baby second hand stores that really offer very nice clothing for baby and a fraction of the cost. Depending on the season you are also going to want to invest in pants of some sort, something soft and comfortable to put baby in. My favorite baby item is the nightgown, they are long, and cover baby from head to toe yet offers them room to move. You can also get a few other pairs of pjs with feet in them. Baby should not sleep in their cute outfits; make sure they are in onesies or pjs.

Blankets, goodness get blankets. You want to have atleast seven receiving blankets to cover baby with. Actually, even if you are going to use disposable diapers you may want to get a package of cloth diapers to use as spit up towels. Trust me when I tell you that you are going to be thankful to have more than one or two of each of these items.

Now that we have the basics covered to make sure that baby is dry and clothed we should look at food. Obviously you have two choices for your new born, bottle or breast. If you are going to breast feed then really all you should get is a breast pump, breast pads and lanolin and a couple of supportive nursing bras. This is more for your comfort than anything else.

If you are going to be bottle feeding then you are going to need bottles. Make sure that you have 3 to 6 4 ounce bottles. Baby isn’t going to need the bigger bottles at first seeing as how his or her stomach is only going to be able to hold about 2 ounces at each feeding for the first month. I highly recommend getting the bottles that are designed to minimize the amount of air that baby consumes during feeding. If you are going to use the straight bottles then I recommend getting the orthodontic nipples for the bottles. I would like to tell you that you can use the orthodontic nipples on the air vent bottles, but you shouldn’t.

Bottle feeding also means that you are going to need to have formula on hand. This I didn’t have prior to bringing baby home simply because I wanted to breastfeed out third child, but couldn’t. So we kept her on the same formula the hospital started her on. Do not switch baby’s formula unless you have to. The only reason for this is that it is hard on baby’s tummy. We had to switch because we found out that our daughter was lactose intolerant like me, so we went to a different version of the same formula that did not contain lactose. You also have the choice of concentrated, premade or powder versions of the same formula. The hospital will start baby off on premade bottles. You can switch to powder or concentrated if you want. The main difference in those three choices is the way the formula is pasteurized, so one may be easier on baby’s tummy then the other or it may not matter.

Now there are other little essentials that you are going to want to have on hand to care for baby. So here is a list of those items:

• Infant thermometer
• Gripe water (this is a natural solution that you give to baby to help with colic and hiccups, it is simply fennel and ginger and babies can have it at 2 weeks of age)
• Infants Mylicon (safe for baby from birth, helps with gas… it is a Godsend)
• Baby wash
• Baby lotion
• Baby powder
• Baby wash clothes
• Diaper rash ointment (hopefully you won’t need it, but it is always better to have)
• CDs of instrumental music or lullabies (this is more because it is important to introduce baby to music at a very young age to help brain development)

If you have all the items that I have listed in this article then you are prepared to care for baby. It will also make life easier to have these things prior to baby coming home so that you can focus on caring for baby and not have to run to the store.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009

 by Patricia Hughes

One of the biggest worries during pregnancy is the fear that something is wrong with the baby. Women who experience this fear breathe a sigh of relief during prenatal visits when the baby’s heart beat is heard. Hearing the baby’s heart beat and movements is reassuring for these mothers. There is a way for you to monitor fetal movement at home, with fetal kick counts.

by Patricia Hughes

Choosing your baby’s doctor is a big decision. You may want to start thinking about it and checking around before your baby is born. This person will care for your baby for well visits and through illness. You need to find a doctor that has a similar philosophy about infant care and that you are able to communicate with comfortably.

Finding a Pediatrician

There are several sources of information about pediatricians. One good place to get a recommendation is from friends or family members. Ask your friends with babies and young children about their pediatricians. Also ask your obstetrician (OB) for suggestions.

If you are new to the area or don’t have friends with young children, you can ask your health care provider for a recommendation. If you are pregnant, you will be asked for the name of your pediatrician in the hospital. If this is your first pregnancy, the time to shop for a doctor is before the baby arrives.

You will want to be sure the doctor accepts your insurance. Check your provider directory to be sure the doctors on your list accept your policy. Don’t go by the book alone. Call the office and ask if they take your insurance. Provider information has a way of changing faster than the books are updated.

Once you have recommendations for a few physicians, you can schedule interviews to meet the top doctors on your list. Most will offer a free consultation to prospective patients. Others may charge a fee for the consultation. Ask about this when you schedule the appointment. The interview gives you the opportunity to ask questions and get a feel for the doctor’s personality and philosophy. Bring a list of questions with you, so you won’t forget what you wanted to ask.

While you are waiting, take a look at the waiting area. Are there separate areas for sick kids? Is the waiting area comfortable with toys and books for the patients waiting to see the doctor? If you have the opportunity to talk to another parent in the waiting area, seize the chance. Ask her about her family’s experience with the doctor and if she is happy with the care received.

Pay attention to the staff during your visit. Are they pleasant and helpful or do they seem overworked and unfriendly? When you call for appointments and check in for your visits, you will be dealing with the staff. A great doctor can soon seem less than wonderful if she has a crummy staff.

Questions to ask

• Do you have a specialty? 
• Will my child see you, or do you work with other doctors?
• At what hospital do you have privileges?
• Do you take my insurance?
• How do you handle phone calls/communication with patients?
• What happens if I have an emergency after hours?
• Is it possible to get same day sick visits?
• How long is the typical well baby visit?
• What is your policy for late arrivals?
• Is there a separate waiting area for sick patients?
• How do you feel about breastfeeding?

The answers to the doctor’s questions will give you a feel for his personality as well as how the office works. Is the doctor friendly and happy to talk or does he seem rushed? Do you feel comfortable talking with him? What is your gut instinct telling you? Follow your gut and you can’t go wrong. 

Biography
Patricia Hughes is a freelance writer and mother of four. Patricia has a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University. She has written extensively on pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. In addition, she has written about home décor and travel.

by Patricia Hughes

If your baby is born in a hospital, testing will begin immediately after the birth. Depending on where you live, your baby may be tested for a variety of disorders. In addition to testing, there are several procedures that are common after the birth of a baby. Become familiar with these procedures so you can make decisions and include these in your birth plan.

The baby’s first test is the APGAR. This is done at one and five minutes after the birth to evaluate the baby’s condition. The test was developed by Dr. Virginia Apgar to assess newborns. The test assess five areas to determine baby’s condition at birth. These are Activity, Pulse, Grimace, Appearance and Respiration. Each area is given a score from 0 to 2. The total possible score is 10. Don’t panic if your baby doesn’t have a perfect score; most babies don’t.

The PKU test is done in the hospital to check for a genetic disorder known as phenylketonuria. This is often done twice, once in the hospital and once in the doctor’s office after the baby is discharged. There is some controversy about this test being done in the hospital, especially for breastfed babies. The initial test may not be valid and will need to be repeated in the doctor’s office later.

Eye drops are given to newborns to protect their eyesight against potential infection from STDs that can affect their eyesight or cause blindness. The drops are given to all babies and may be mandated by the state. Newer drops contain antibiotics, rather than silver nitrate. These drops don’t burn as much, but blur the baby’s vision, preventing her from seeing you clearly.

A Vitamin K shot is given to help in blood clotting. This became popular with the use of forceps. Some parents question the need for the shot since humans have lived without it for nearly all of our history. This is another procedure you may be able to postpone until after the initial bonding and breastfeeding.

Depending on where you live, your baby may be given a hearing test. Some states require this early screening in an attempt to identify children at risk for hearing difficulties while they are still very young. If a child has a hearing issue, the sooner it is known the better for the child. This test is painless and can sometimes be done in your room, if you are rooming in with your baby.

Some parents are concerned about the testing and procedures done to their newborns so soon after birth. These parents want time to bond and give breastfeeding a try before the baby is submitted for testing, eye drops, vitamin K shots and other medical procedures. If you want to delay any of these procedures, speak to your doctor while you are still pregnant.

Other testing may be done as needed, depending on your situation. For example, if you are diabetic or suffered from Gestational Diabetes, your baby’s blood sugar may be tested. Babies born to mothers with gestational diabetes sometimes experience low blood sugar at birth. If this happens, the baby may be given some sugar water.

Will it be a boy or a girl? Women having babies today have an option their mothers and grandmothers didn’t have, they can find out the gender of the baby before it is born. Throughout human history, mothers had to wait until the baby was born to discover the gender. With testing such as ultrasound and amniocentesis, you can learn the baby’s gender while you are still pregnant.

• The Chinese Lunar Calendar uses the month of conception and the age of the mother to determine the gender. You find your month of conception and age and the chart will tell you if you are having a boy or a girl.
• How you are carrying the baby is said to be a clue to the gender. If you are carrying out in front, the baby is said to be a boy. If you are gaining weight in the hips and buttocks, the baby will be a girl.
• Morning sickness is said to be another clue. If you have morning sickness, the baby will be a girl.
• The foods you crave are thought to be a clue. If you crave salty, it’s a boy. If you crave sweets, the baby will be a girl.
• The needle test involves threading a needle and holding it over your belly. If it moves side to side, the baby is a girl. If the needle moves in circles, it will be a boy. 

Picking a baby name can be a daunting and challening task for a parent to be. Every year the social security administration compiles a myrad of information. One piece of information that is useful and interesting to parenting planning a baby is their Top 10 Names. This can be a valuable tool in helping a parent pick their childs name. You can go back over time and enter the year you want along with the ability to request the top 10, 20, 50, 100 or even 1000 names for that particular year. They also provide top names by state, popular twins names. You can visit this tool at http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/

Without further ado, here are the top baby names for 2006: 

There are so many things to think of during your pregnancy. As you prepare for the birth of your child, no doubt you have already set up a nursery for the new arrival. Between the baby shower and other items you may have purchased, there is no doubt the new baby’s nursery has every possible thing you could think of. Just in case, here are 5 things every nursery needs, and then some.

1. A cradle and crib are probably the most important pieces of furniture you will buy (or receive as gifts). Since your baby will most likely stay in your room for awhile, these would be your first choice. Later on, you can use the crib in the baby’s nursery. Or perhaps, you have a family tradition in which cribs and cradles are handed down from mother to child. How wonderful! In either case, you may already have these items covered. But, you will need to purchase a new crib mattress.

2. No doubt you have either received or acquired a mobile for the crib. With the variety of mobiles available today, you shouldn’t have a problem picking one out for your baby.
Incidentally, don’t forget the baby monitor. You will want to have this operational the minute your baby is in the nursery.

3. You will need a dresser for the baby. Depending on your color scheme, there are lovely dressers for babies. Check them out online or at your baby furniture store.

4. You will need a changing table for the baby as well. Depending upon the amount of space in the nursery, you can buy a changing table or one that can fit on top of the dresser. In any case, ensure it is safe and secure.

5. No nursery is complete without a rocking chair. Find a comfortable one for you, since you will be spending most of your time feeding and rocking your baby to sleep.

Here are some incidental items you may want to have in the nursery as well. Perhaps a little rocking chair with a beautiful teddy bear sitting on it, or other stuffed animals. How about some music to lull your child to sleep? A small CD player would be perfect. A blanket would also be appropriate to wrap around your shoulders during those cold nights when baby needs comforting or feeding.

You get married and everyone wants to know when you will have a baby. You have a baby and they ask when you will have another baby?  At first you roll your eyes and laugh at the suggestion. At some point, you may start thinking of adding another child to your family. Can you handle another pregnancy? Whether this will be your second or your sixth baby, you may wonder if the timing is right.

There are no hard and fast rules regarding the spacing of children. Everyone has an opinion and these opinions vary widely. People with children that are spaced close together will tell you that it’s great to have kids close in age. They will be interested in the same activities and are built in play mates for each other. People with children spaced farther apart will tell you this is perfect. Your first baby has plenty of time in the spotlight and you can enjoy each stage of infancy and toddler years. In fact, they are both right. There are benefits to each choice. The key is to find the right fit for your family.

Before you ditch the birth control, there are some things you may want to consider. One is your general health. Are you in good health? Do you have any chronic conditions that may complicate pregnancy? Make an appointment for a check up with your doctor several months prior to trying to conceive. A physical will help ensure that you are in good health going into your pregnancy. If you have any conditions, such as diabetes or asthma, you will want to be sure these are under control before you get pregnant.

How was your last birth? Were you happy with the outcome? Was the care adequate during the pregnancy and after? Evaluate your health care practitioner and the hospital where your baby was born. If you are happy and intend to make the same choices, you are all set. If you were less than happy with either the doctor or the hospital, do you want to make any changes? You can always change care providers during your pregnancy, but this is one decision you may want to make prior to getting pregnant.

Consider your finances when making the decision to have another baby. Can you afford another child? Take all the expenses of pregnancy and birth into consideration here. Evaluate your health plan to determine your benefits. Do you have a deductible or co payment for your pregnancy? Is this amount different whether you choose an in network or out of network provider for your care? Is your provider on the list from your insurance company? This information will help you get the most from your insurance coverage.

Do you work or stay home with your child? If you work, consider the added costs of day care for more than one child. Can you afford to pay for day care for both children? This is one of the biggest expenses for working mothers. You will need to calculate the costs to determine if you can afford to continue working. You may find that daycare isn’t an option with two children.

If you can’t afford daycare, will you stay home with the children? You will need to determine if you can afford to leave your job and still pay your bills each month. Make a list of all your bills and keep track of all the money you spend over a couple of months. This will help you see where your money is going. Once you have this information, you can see where you can cut corners and save money on expenses.

The most important factor is to discuss the subject with your partner. Is he ready for another baby? This is a decision that the couple should make together. In some marriages, one person may be ready to add another child to the family, but find that the partner is hesitant. Discuss the issue and try to reach a consensus about the best time to try for another baby.

by Patricia Hughes

Welcoming a new baby into the family can be stressful for young children. This is a major life change for your child, who has been the center of your attention since his own birth. Your child needs time to prepare for this change. You can help your child adjust to the role of big brother or sister by reading and talking about newborn babies often.

Allow plenty of time to prepare your child for the arrival of a sibling. You won’t want to tell your child the minute you learn you are expecting, but give your child several months to get used to the idea of a new baby. The age of your child is another factor in deciding when to share the news. When they learn about the baby early, the months can drag on while they wait for the baby.

Spend time reading books about babies. Get a baby doll and let your child practice diapering and dressing the baby. Use the doll to demonstrate the right way to hold a baby. Talk about the attention babies need. This helps your child learn that babies are dependent on their parents for everything. This may help with jealousy issues after the baby arrives.

Let your child help get ready for the new baby. Browse through catalogs and go shopping for the baby. Let your older child make a big decision, such as picking out baby’s first outfit or helping to select a theme for the nursery. This will help your child feel excited about the baby and will help her feel that she has an important role in the preparations. This boosts her self esteem and helps her feel confident.

Involve your older child in your pregnancy. When your child attends prenatal visits with you, the pregnancy won’t be such a mystery. Children love hearing their siblings’ heartbeats at prenatal visits. My girls are always excited when it’s time for the ultrasound. They get to “see” the baby and find out if they are having a brother or a sister.

Some hospitals have sibling classes for older children. These classes can be fun and help your child prepare for the role of big brother or big sister. In most classes, the kids watch a movie about having a new baby in the house. The instructor will use a doll to show the children how a new baby should be held.

An added benefit of many classes is a tour of the maternity ward. Your child will get to see a room like the one where the baby will be born and a room like the one you will stay in while you are in the hospital. The kids may get to peek in the newborn nursery and may even see a new baby. When the time comes for you to go to the hospital, your child will be familiar with the concept. When he arrives to visit you and the baby, he may feel more comfortable.

A new baby gets a lot of attention. Guests arrive bearing gifts for the newest family member. This can make some children feel left out. Consider buying a few small gifts and wrapping them. You can give a small gift to your child when you feel she needs some attention or when presents arrive for the baby. Craft items and small activity books will keep your child amused and give you a few minutes to rest with the baby. A story book is a good choice. You can snuggle up on the sofa with the baby and your child and read while you feed the baby.