Pregnancy at More4kids » Moms

How Pregnancy Changes Marriage

More4kids Inc. — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 01:40:54 +0000

Becoming a parent changes your relationship with your spouse. The changes often begin before the baby arrives. All marriages will change to some degree. Some of the changes may be good and others not so good.

You may find that your husband becomes more concerned about your well being. He may express concern about pregnancy symptoms, your general health or the well being of the baby. Some men become very protective of their wives when they are carrying a baby.

Most couples find that their conversations change when they are expecting a baby. Maybe your conversations used to be about politics, movies and current events. Increasingly, they will be about birth, buying baby gear, names for the baby and even how you will raise your child. This change will get even more pronounced after the baby arrives.

The conversations may not all be pleasant. Since you are both thinking individuals, it is likely that you will disagree on a variety of topics related to parenting. If you spend some of your time during pregnancy reading and discussing your parenting philosophy, you may find you have very different ideas about how to raise your little one.

Initially these disagreements may be about the birth of the baby. You may want a home birth but your husband fears for the safety of you and the baby and wants you to go to a hospital. Other early disagreements couples sometimes have to navigate center around feeding and sleeping, since this is what newborns do most of the time. Breastfeeding vs. bottle or sleeping in your room vs. the baby’s own room are common topics that can cause disharmony.

This is a good time to practice discussing disagreements in a respectful way. Talking to each other with respect and attempting to find common ground is good for your marriage and will set the tone for how you parent your child together. There is a tendency for mothers to feel they are the main caregiver, so they should make the rules. However, if you approach disagreements with respect, it will prevent power struggles that can damage your relationship.

It is easy to get wrapped up in the pregnancy and the baby after the birth. However, it is important to make time for each other as well. This is not always easy, especially in the early months but it is important. Make a date and ask Grandma to come watch the baby. Most are thrilled to have a bit of time with the baby. If this is not possible, make time for a mini date at night after the baby is asleep.

Taking the time to nurture your marriage now will benefit your baby later. Researchers at the Administration for Children and Families found several benefits for children when mom and dad have a healthy marriage. The kids of married parents in the research study tend to be more successful in school and are more likely to attend college. The kids had a lower rate of teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol use, delinquency and had fewer behavioral problems. These trends held true for children with parents in a healthy marriage. Check out more information here: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/benefits/index.html

How To Condense 9 Months Into 20 Seconds!

More4kids Inc. — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 01:54:55 +0000

Hi everyone, I just found this video moms-to-be might want to see, and to look forward to! During pregnancy there are many bodily changes, and some are obvious to everyone. Enjoy! Julie

Kevin's response: "There is nothing more beautify than a pregnant woman. I would ask my wife to try again but I don't think I would survive!!"

Posting Search Tags: Pregnancy

Benefits of Breastfeeding

More4kids Inc. — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 02:22:35 +0000

A note from Julie: The decision to breastfeed should be made ahead of time. This article describes some of the benefits. I breastfed my first son and am now going on to breastfeed our most recent addition to our family. It can be physically and emotionally exhausting at times but feel it is well worth it. It is especially tough for woman that work as not all companies are as supportive as they can be, but that is another story. Comments are welcome and we would be interested in hearing why other people made the decision to breastfeed or not.

The benefits of breast feeding to babies whose mothers are able to nurse them are numerous. Babies receive essential nutrients as well as antibodies that have not been successfully reproduced in any formula from their mother’s breast milk. Babies also have the correct jaw development through the process of breast feeding, which benefits them throughout life.

Benefit To The Mother
The benefits of breast feeding apply not only the nursing baby, but also the nursing mother. First, mothers have much less to spend their time on when breast feeding. They do not have to sterilize and mix bottles for the baby. They do not have to spend money on expensive baby formula, which is a financial benefit.

Another benefit of breast feeding is that the mother has an easier time losing the pregnancy weight. Mothers who are lactating burn more calories than those who are not. Also, breast feeding is a benefit to the mother in encouraging the uterus to contract, eventually returning to its pre-pregnancy size.

When considering the benefits of breast feeding to the mother, it is important to consider the benefit of rest after birth. Many mothers find it difficult to take the time they need to reset and recuperate after the exhausting job of birthing a baby, but nursing forces the mother to at least sit down for a few moments and spend time with her new baby. Some mothers resent this, as it cuts into their very busy schedules, but this time of rest is necessary to allow the body to heal after labor. Nursing forces mothers to take the time to rest.

Breast feeding totes the benefit of being a very natural form of birth control. Of course, nursing is not a 100 percent effective form of birth control, but nursing moms are very unlikely to ovulate, making it much more difficult for a nursing mom to get pregnant too soon after delivery. Those who do not want to get pregnant should ensure that they don’t by using an alternative form of birth control, and there are many hormonal birth control options that are safe for nursing moms and babies.

Benefits To Both

Studies are being done currently on the psychological benefits of breast feeding for both mother and baby. Breast feeding demands that a baby be held close and warm while being fed, and the distance from a mother’s face to the nursing baby’s eyes is the exact distance they can see at birth. Nursing provides a crucial opportunity for mother and baby to bond. The mother who may suffer some baby blues must put aside her feelings in order to feed her baby, which is a fundamental instinct for most mothers, no matter how depressed they are. This helps to deter the onset of postpartum depression for a lot of mothers. Babies are comforted by their mother’s presence, and the mother is encouraged in her ability to care for her new baby.

A note from Kevin: Hello, this is a dads perspective. I am a proponent and supporter of breastfeeding. Dads can feel a bit isolated at times and may not feel they are bonding as closely with their baby as they should. That will change as they grow. Breastfeeding offers a child a lot of security and love and has a lot of health benefits as the article points out. I have asthma and allergies and wanted to give my children any advantage I could so they would not go through the health issues I have gone through. The ultimate decision was my wifes and I love her for it and support her wholehartedly. I hope some dads will read this article and be a part of this important decision. A decision of love.

Posting Search Tags: Pregnancy Breast Feeding

Will You Work or Stay Home with Your Baby?

More4kids Inc. — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 23:17:12 +0000

by Patricia Hughes

One decision you will need to make during your pregnancy is whether to stay home or return to work after the baby is born. This is a personal decision that each couple must make. Many women feel pressured to stay home or go to work. Only you know what is best for your family.

For some women, the choice is determined by finances. If you can’t make it on one income, you may have to go back to work. For other women, the decision is based on emotional reasons. Some find fulfillment as stay at home mothers. Other women need the interaction and stimulation that come from working outside the home, whether full or part time.

Things to Consider as a Working Mom

There are benefits for many women to maintaining a career after the baby is born. Some women find the stimulation of a career to be important. The extra money is nice for your family and may be necessary to make ends meet. If you want to work, but don’t think you can handle a full time job and a small baby, there are other options. You may be able to work part time. Flex time, job sharing and telecommuting are ways you can continue in your career and have time for your baby as well.

The biggest obstacle for working mothers is the guilt they tend to feel. Guilt feelings are normal, whether you work or stay home. Someone will always question your choices and have you questioning yourself. You may try to compensate by being the perfect mother and perfect employee at the same time. This is impossible and will only leave you feeling inadequate. Finding a good balance is important for your emotional well being.

Give yourself time to adjust to the new role as a working mother. Make a daily schedule or calendar to be sure the essential tasks are getting done at work and at home. Have your spouse help with some of the tasks that need to be done. Consider hiring a cleaning person to come in once or twice each month to help out around the house. This can take the pressure off you as you adjust to your new lifestyle. Make time to connect with both the baby and your spouse at the end of the day.

Being a working mother can have an impact on your career. You may switch to part time or not be available for overtime like you were before the baby was born. This can affect your chances of promotion or change the way your employer looks at you. Sometimes this is called being on the “Mommy Track.” To get noticed at work, do a little extra when you can. This could be the occasional late night, attending a conference, or taking work home with you once in a while. You can get noticed without sacrificing your family life.

Things to Consider as a Stay at Home Mom

There are many benefits to being home with your children. You are there for the baby every day. You won’t miss the first time he crawls, his first step or hearing him say “Mama” for the first time. You are the primary caregiver, not a day care worker or baby sitter or even Grandma. Many women find this fulfilling and can’t imagine not being there for every mile stone.

Some mothers find the transition from full time employee to full time Mommy to be a difficult one. You may feel bored caring for the baby and cleaning the house every day. Some women find this lack of stimulation to be stressful. There are many things you can do to keep active while staying home with your baby. Consider taking a class at your local community college, an exercise class, a ceramics class or joining a book club. This will give you time away from the baby and allow you to indulge in your own interests.

If you are lonely, consider joining a mother’s group. There are many ways to connect with other moms. A playgroup is a great idea. If you can’t find one in your area, consider starting your own. The baby may be too young to play, but you need to make friends. It’s important for you to connect with other adults and spend time talking to other mothers. The park is another good place to meet moms with babies around the same age as yours.

If you miss your friends from work, make an effort to stay in touch. You can call or send emails to stay in contact. Consider an occasional lunch date. This will give you the chance to stay in touch and keep up with all the gossip. You will also have the opportunity to spend time in adult conversation that has nothing to do with the kids.

Some women feel less valuable once they stop working. This is especially true if you made a decent living before the baby was born. You may feel that you aren’t contributing to the household. You may resent having to ask your husband for spending money. If this is the case, consider having an allowance for each of you. This way you each have some money to spend without having to ask for every purchase.

Make a list of what you do every day. Include caring for the baby as well as other jobs you do around the house. Write down why each of these things is important to your family. This will help you see the value in what you do. You may begin to see staying home as a real job. You are contributing to the well being of your baby and your family.

Biography

Patricia Hughes is a freelance writer and mother of four. Patricia has a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University. She has written extensively on pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. In addition, she has written about home décor and travel.

Posting Search Tags: Pregnancy Career