by Jennifer Shakeel

Congratulations, you have just given birth to a wonderful baby! However, as wonderful as giving birth is, the process puts tremendous stress and shock on your body. It is difficult to explain all of the complex and minute changes that your body has to go through to get your body back to pre-pregnancy status. In addition to recovering from being pregnant, the body also has to recover from the actual labor and birth of the baby, being up at all times of the night and day, severe sleep deprivation, and breastfeeding. Believe it or not your body goes through most of the changes in the first 30 days.

All of the "jobs" your body now has is often referred to the nutritional equivalent of running a half marathon… EVERY DAY. So it is important that new mothers understand that a lot of this work is done without them even realizing, so it is no wonder a mother's body and emotions are under such strain and generally leave us feeling fragile at this time. As such, emotional, physical and other issues can arise – which if not managed well can manifest into longer term problems. Studies have shown that a high percentage of new mothers in western cultures have health and sexual problems for several months to a year after delivery, and reported this as "normal".

All this is complicated by women who have difficult births. A difficult birth doesn't necessarily relate to a physical event like tears or a C-section. It can simply be anything which makes a mother feels traumatized physically or emotionally. A new mom might feel she has had a difficult birth because her birth didn't go according to her plan, support staff during her birth may have been unkind or unhelpful, or she may have suffered some other sense of loss of control

Outside of what the body is doing on its own, there are also the changes that the woman who just gave birth faces. Including but not limited to:

• Physical issues
  • Physical exhaustion after labour
  • Body in a state of shock due to sudden massive change
  • Feeling fat
  • Sore and achey (sore back/neck/pelvis etc)
  • Concerns about how your body looks
  • Healing scars/tears
• Emotional Issues
  • Bonding with new baby
  • Overwhelm at prospect of looking after new baby
  • Feeling disconnected from your life (Feel disconnected from your life partner/husband and family/friends)
  • Baby blues – casued by postnatal hormonal swings – sends poor new moms on an emotional rollercoaster.
  • Shocked by sudden lack of freedom
  • Worried because you are not madly in love with your child immediately – or generally not feeling insync with being a mother
• Guilt
  • Beyond baby blues – some women will experience a higher level of depression after they give birth , experiencing anything from symptoms of extreme anxiety, inability to sleep, inability to eat, unrealistic and inconsolable concerns about the baby's health, and occasionally, suicidal thoughts. Often these are related to both emotional and physical stresses on the body.
• Some mums describe having the following problems after childbirth:
  • Unable to deal with household matters
  • Overwhelmed by what having a baby is really like
• Revisiting images of labor
• Difficulty in your relationship with your partner
• Lack of libido
• Not wanting physical contact of any kind
• Concerns over breastfeeding/feeding baby
• Sleep deprivation

Common problems that mothers described during the first month included: fatigue, hemorrhoids, constipation, poor appetite, breathing difficulties, hot flashes, and breast problems and these can develop into longer term issues if the mother is not helped to get proper rest in order to heal.
So what are you to do to help your body and your mind cope with and work through all of the changes that are taking place now that you have given birth? I have listed a couple of recommendations. Granted some are more ideal then practical, but if you can practice even one ideal tip it will help your recovery process.

The first recommendation is actually a page of recovery from many eastern cultures. Which is a period of "confinement" for 30 days. Your doctor is going to tell you that you should be taking it easy for the first 6 weeks anyway so that your body can heal. I suggest taking a complete break from all but taking care of yourself and baby for the next 30 days. Now I know this sounds like a lot of time to take out of your regular life and responsibilities for some people, but if you consider that this is a foundational period of time which could impact your health and wellbeing for the next 30+ years, it is definitely and investment worth considering.

You can also use Massage. Massage is thought to help remove impurities from the mother's body after she gives birth. And will help heaps of things from balancing hormones, to boosting your immune system. I recommend that you not only give yourself a massage daily but also massage baby. If you prefer you can hire doulas or call a local massage school and ask if there are students available to perform the massage as part of their certification. Here are few quick tips on massage so that it actually helps you heal:

• Massage should be done with a high quality cold pressed sesame oil. There are also special blends and preparations that you can purchase based on ancient ayuverdic recipes specifically for mother and also for baby.
• Should not be too firm – you want to support body healing, not add to tits injuries.
• Make sure room is warm and without drafts
• Massage from your head and work downwards using circular motions

Make sure that nutritional you are taking care of yourself. During the period of time immediately after a mother gives birth and her body is transitioning back to all its normal function, the digestion system is very fragile. Many new mothers report that what they eat has a massive impact on how they feel as well as a direct impact on the baby's wellbeing if she is breastfeeding. In ancient Indian Ayuvedic traditions it is believed that proper support of the digestion for new mothers can massively impact infant colic, general healing and post natal depression for new mothers. Unfortunately most modern medical models do not incorporate or understand these principles.

In fact it is believed that what a mother eats during those first few weeks can affect her foundations for recovery for 30+ years.

You should also make sure that you are getting enough fluids. You wouldn't believe the number of moms who tell me they suffer massive feelings of dehydration in that first month after childbirth. Whether it is to do with the actually birthing process, or the new demands on the body to produce milk, it is critical that mothers maintain a high intake of water.

Believe it or not, it is actually better for your health tell all of the potential visitors that you would like them to give you a little time before they come and visit. Right now is the time for you to heal and baby to get to know his/her new environment, as much as we love it, the time to show off baby is really after the first 30 days.

Know that it can take almost a full year for your body to completely return to normal after giving birth. Give yourself time and start the healing process off on the right foot.

Biography
Jennifer Shakeel is a writer and former nurse with over 12 years medical experience.  As a mother of two incredible children with one on the way, I am here to share with you what I have learned about parenting and the joys and changes that take place during pregnancy. Together we can laugh and cry and rejoice in the fact that we are moms!

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved

by Jennifer Shakeel

Most women have heard that once you give birth to your child, you may experience symptoms of depression, or what many refer to as the “baby blues”. Many believe this is caused by hormonal changes along with the adjustments of a newborn that needs care 24 hours a day seven days a week. Most women are sleep deprived and have little energy, which could contribute to symptoms of depression. It is important for women and their families to be aware of the signs and symptoms of a more serious condition, postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression, a depression diagnosed right after childbirth, is a serious illness that affects a woman’s ability to complete every day tasks and can cause them to become despondent. Not only does the inability to care for her own personal needs, she begins to become unable to care for her baby, and to meet other family members needs. During a woman’s pregnancy, the female hormones estrogen and progesterone are at increased levels. Within the first 24 hours after giving birth, these hormone levels rapidly return to normal. Many researchers believe that this huge decrease in hormone levels may be the leading cause of depression.

Another hormone level could also contribute to symptoms of depression. A small gland in the neck, known as the thyroid, that produces hormones may also have a drop in secretions upon giving birth. This hormone helps your body regulate the use and storage of energy from food. If the levels drop to low, this could lead to symptoms that are similar to depression. This is easily detected by a simple blood test and can be controlled quite easily with medication.

There are some other factors that can lead to depression. You may have uncertainty regarding your ability to be a good mother to your child, you may have unrealistic expectations of what motherhood will be like and an impractical need to be perfect in your care and you may feel a sense of loss in your identity and in your attractiveness.  It is important to know that many women feel some emotional changes after giving birth. As your body’s hormone levels return to normal, and you adjust to the daily demands of being a new mother, you may have mood swings and also have feelings of being sad, feeling anxious or just plain overwhelmed. It is important to know that these symptoms are very normal. You may feel like crying at the drop of a hat and you may find it hard to eat on a regular basis. And more than likely, you will have trouble sleeping, even when you are exhausted. Again, it is imperative that you remember that these symptoms are normal your baby home. Most of these symptoms will subside within a few days, or they may take a few weeks to complete dissipate.

It has been reported that approximately 13 percent of pregnant women and new mothers have postpartum depression. Although the symptoms of postpartum depression are similar to the feelings of the “baby blues”, there are signs to be aware of so that you know when it might be advisable to contact your physician. Signs of postpartum depression begin when the feelings of the baby blues don’t subside after 2 to 3 weeks. The feelings of depression and despair become more and more intense and inhibit you from performing even the simplest tasks either at home or at work. You have little or no motivation to care for yourself or your child. Even the simplest task may be impossible to complete. Some of these symptoms may become threatening. You may have thoughts of doing harm to yourself or even your baby. There may be times of total disregard for your child and where there is not interest in taking care of providing love for your child.

If you are experiencing these symptoms and it has been more 2 to 3 weeks, you should call your doctor to discuss your symptoms and what can be done to help you over come this depression. It is important to remember that depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, and does not make you a bad person, or a bad mother. It will be crucial for you to speak with your health care professional to see what is the best course of action to get you healthy so that you can take care of yourself and your baby. Remember to rest when you can and try to keep in mind that there is no perfect mom. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, your family and your friends and when they offer to help, take them up on it. If your health care provider prescribes medication take it as prescribed.

Biography
Jennifer Shakeel is a writer and former nurse with over 12 years medical experience.  As a mother of two incredible children with one on the way, I am here to share with you what I have learned about parenting and the joys and changes that take place during pregnancy. Together we can laugh and cry and rejoice in the fact that we are moms!

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved 

by Jennifer Shakeel

You have heard about women who suffer from postpartum depression. Some have made the news with the things that they have done. You may even remember the big debate between Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise a few years ago over whether or not it was a real condition and if medications should be used to get through it. Your doctor may talk to you briefly about it, and then you will dismiss it. The thought that is going to enter your mind is, “Who in the world could be depressed over such a wonderful event?” The answer is, more women then you realize.

The first thing I want you to understand that depression during the last trimester of pregnancy is normal. The fluctuation of hormones, the draining of your energy, not being able to sleep properly, the realization that you are going to be a new mom (for the first time or second or third) all sinking in can cause a woman to feel down, not quite like herself and depressed. This is not saying that all women go through this. I didn’t with my first two, but I can tell you with this one… the last couple of weeks have been tough.

Understand that they depression isn’t over having a baby. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t happy about the new bundle of joy. It is more that you question everything that you have done in the past up until now and wonder if you are going to be a good mom. Your life is about to change in a big way, regardless of whether it is your first or your third or fourth child. The worst thing in the world you can do is not acknowledge and talk about the way you are feeling. Talk to someone that you trust, that you are comfortable with, that isn’t going to judge you. This can be your partner, your sister, mom, therapists, best friend, doctor… talk to someone. If it means you sit and spend the afternoon crying and you don’t know why then sit there and cry and then pick up the phone and call that person.

For me, I have spent the last two weeks questioning whether or not I am good wife and a good mom. I wonder if the reason that this baby is still not coming out because she is afraid that I am going to mess her up. This of course has worried my husband and made my little sister play the role of the big sister as she spent hours on the phone with me the other day as I cried and confessed all my concerns and tell me honestly, the things I needed to hear. I am incredibly grateful for my husband and my sister.

Now let’s talk about postpartum depression. There are three different types of postpartum depression, what we all know as “baby blues” which happens right after birth within the first 5 days. Postnatal depression, which affects 1 in 10 women, it starts off as the baby blues and quickly progresses. There is also Puerperal Psychosis, this happens in the first three months after birth, affects 1 in 1000 women and is the most severe case.

Again, getting the “baby blues” is normal, anywhere from 50 to 75% of women experience this condition. You may feel teary, anxious, irritable and you may even feel indifferent towards the baby. This usually goes away as quickly as it came on. Obviously the postnatal and puerperal depression are progressions of the baby blues, each more severe then the previous. In any of the conditions it is very important that you talk to someone about how you are feeling, and definitely consult with your health care profession if things do not improve. There are a number of other things that you can do to help you get through what you are feeling.

First, you need to take care of yourself. I understand that a new baby can be just as overwhelming as it is exciting. New babies are also very demanding, which can make it very difficult for you to remember to take time for yourself. Right now is the most important time for you to make sure you are taking care of you.

1. Sleep as much as you can. When baby is sleeping you NEED to sleep. The house work can wait. If you deprive yourself of sleep you are going to make everything seem much worse then what it is. Sleep is mother nature’s way of letting the body and mind recuperate.

2. Eat Nutritiously. While that cup of caffeine in the morning helps you perk up enough to at least recognize the world, it is actually doing you more harm then good. If you are like me, you are still going to want that coffee, so make sure you drink orange juice and plenty of water. Eat fresh fruits and veggies, not chips and junk. Your body needs the nutrients to repair itself and keep you going.

3. Exercise. Yes, get up and get moving. Go for a walk with baby, the fresh air will help relieve stress and clear your mind.

4. Take some “me” time. This one is really hard, but very important so that you keep your sanity. It doesn’t matter if it is a 10 minute bath, where you light candles, play soft music and soak in the bubbles. It is ten minutes that is all about you.

While most women get over postpartum depression fairly quickly, it is important to consult with a health care provider if things do not improve or worsen.

Biography
Jennifer Shakeel is a writer and former nurse with over 12 years medical experience.  As a mother of two incredible children with one on the way, I am here to share with you what I have learned about parenting and the joys and changes that take place during pregnancy. Together we can laugh and cry and rejoice in the fact that we are moms!

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved 

by Jennifer Shakeel

Congratulations! You made it through labor and delivery and you are the proud parent of one of the most beautiful babies in the world! That’s right, you can now take that big sigh of relief… you are no longer pregnant. As you lay in the hospital bed, you are overwhelmed by the desire to stand up and see your no longer pregnant body. You are almost jittery with excitement of putting on those pre-pregnancy clothes. Once the pain killers wear off you jump out of bed to stand in front of the mirror and marvel at your no longer pregnant body…

Marvel indeed! Chances are it is not what you were expecting. I can tell you that last month, as I gave birth to my third child, a scheduled C-section, I asked my doctor if while she had me open she would go ahead and do liposuction and take care of everything while she was there. She laughed and told me I really didn’t need it (music to a pregnant woman’s ears) that there was really very little fat there and she was impressed. Naturally then I was looking forward to being back to where I was before I was pregnant.

But then there was the reality of my no longer pregnant body… it was not what I had hoped… and I was surprised but what I experienced. First, let’s get one thing very clear, you are going to leave the hospital with an inflated stomach. You may not be pregnant anymore but you are still going to look like it. As upsetting as this may be to hear… you are probably going to look that way for at least a week depending on how much weight you put on during your pregnancy. I should also say that it will depend on which type of delivery you had, natural or c-section.
Here is a small list of other normal changes that you can expect after giving birth:

Stretch marks, most women cringe at the sight of the new marks that are on various parts of their body. I look at them as signs of achievement. My husband refers to them as my flames of victory, and my son thinks they look like seaweed. They don’t go away; they will fade though, in time.

Vaginal bleeding, this is normal and can last for a couple of weeks all the way up to six weeks after giving birth. It will change though, from being a bright red to a darker reddish brown to a yellowish discharge to clear. The color changes indicate how well the uterus is healing.

Night sweats; no this isn’t a sign of menopause. Your body is simply getting rid of any extra fluids left in the tissues that you acquired during your pregnancy.

Breast tenderness will also become an issue, atleast in the beginning. As your body prepares to feed your newborn the breasts will swell and be tender to the touch. This will usually go away in after a few days, whether you are breast feeding or not. If you are not breastfeeding and are looking for a way to relieve the discomfort you can get a head of cabbage, cut it in half and place it in the freezer. Then you will take two leafs and place one on each breast and wear the cabbage leaves until they are room temperature and replace them with new leaves. The estrogen in the cabbage leaves will help dry up the milk and relieve the engorgement and tenderness.

Accept these few bits of wisdom right now. First, you are not going to be the same size and shape after giving birth that you were before you were pregnant. I say this to all mothers, regardless of how many kids you have had, because it is with my third that I struggled with this the most. So take my wise husband’s words of advice, “You just had a baby, give yourself a break.” Second, it took you nine months to grow a happy and healthy baby inside you… nine months of changes to your body… those changes are not going to go away nine minutes after delivery. Thirdly, cherish these moments… because it is the only time in your life when people are going to tell you how wonderful you look… no matter how bad you think you look.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved 

Welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting experience for parents. This particular event marks the beginning of many new experiences and life-changing events. However, there are many women who experience complications with mood swings immediately following the birth of a child. This is referred to as “postpartum depression”. It is essential that women and men understand this common form of depression. Here, you will learn about postpartum depression, the most common signs and symptoms associated with this medical condition, and more.

Postpartum depression is normally classified into three different categories. These categories range from mild to severe. The first type of postpartum depression is simply referred to as the “baby blues”. Normally, within a few days, a mother may start to experience a variety of emotions that may seem stronger than any that they have ever previously experienced. This type of depression has been known to last for up to a couple of weeks immediately following the delivery of a child.

This condition is actually considered to be quite normal as it is a side effect of fluctuating hormones. Mothers and fathers alike can rest assured that the baby blues are not an indication of mental illness. Furthermore, while the feelings of depression and irritability may be uncomfortable for the parents, it will not interfere with the capacity of the mother to properly care for her child or herself. It is simply a stage that will pass as the hormones resume their normal composition in the body.

The second category of postpartum depression in new mothers is a tad bit more serious. Not every female that gives birth to a child will experience this form of depression. However, there are a few that will. When a female encounters this state of mind, it may become difficult to properly care for herself and the new baby. However, if this form of depression is dealt with in a proper manner and treated, it can quickly be eliminated. The only problem is that many parents do not seek assistance with this type of mood complication immediately.

There are many common signs and symptoms associated with the second stage of postpartum depression, or “nonpsychotic” depression. They are as follows:

• The woman may feel extremely depressed, yet cannot identify a reason for why this is occurring.
• There may be times when the mother is unable to concentrate appropriately.
• There may be suppression in the appetite, or the female may overindulge when it comes to eating.
• Fatigue may be a common symptom with this form of postpartum depression. Sleep disturbances, such as difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep may also be common.
• Many women may find that they lose interest in things that they once enjoyed.
• There are some women who feel as if they are no good at parenting, or they may worry consistently about various aspects of the health of their new child.
• Some mothers who experience this type of depression after pregnancy may consider committing suicide. In some cases, a woman may actually have thoughts where they want to do harm to a child. However, in nearly 100% of the cases, the mother will never act on these thoughts in any way whatsoever.

It is important for women and men alike to become familiar with the second type of postpartum depression. It is to be understood that a female who has understanding from her family and friends, support and assistance from these individuals, and as little stress as possible often recover from this type of depression quickly and successfully.

The third type of postpartum depression is often the most challenging and is definitely the most severe. It is important for both women and men to understand that this type of after pregnancy depression requires medical attention. Though this type of depression is extremely rare, it can be experienced. As a parent, you should learn to identify the symptoms associated with this type so that you know when it is time to get help. Here, you will find the symptoms most often associated with this form of postpartum depression:

• Visual and auditory hallucinations may be experienced by the mother who experiences this type of psychosis.
• The woman may start to experience delusions, or a series of false beliefs.
• Individuals who experience mood disorders, such as various types of psychosis or even bipolar disorder, may experience this form of depression after pregnancy.
• Mood swings and varying levels of irritability are quite common with this type of postpartum depression.
• Many women may have thoughts of hurting their new child, or other children, and may attempt to act on these thoughts.

If postpartum depression is experienced, there are many different kinds of treatments that can be pursued. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Individual and group therapy sessions to address the specific psychological symptoms and needs.
• Sharing the issue with friends and family members so that they can be supportive during this time.
• There are many different kinds of medications that can be issued to treat depression and the various symptoms associated with depression.

If you are a parent, or are about to become a parent, it is important to ensure that you understand postpartum depression and all the symptoms that are associated with this particular condition. Though it is a common issue, it is important to understand that it is also often a quite misunderstood condition. The more that you learn about this form of depression that occurs after pregnancy, the more successful the recovery process will be if it is experienced. Remember to always consult with a qualified physician. This article is not meant to diagose or recommend any specific treatments.

by Patricia Hughes

Welcoming a new baby into the family can be stressful for young children. This is a major life change for your child, who has been the center of your attention since his own birth. Your child needs time to prepare for this change. You can help your child adjust to the role of big brother or sister by reading and talking about newborn babies often.

Allow plenty of time to prepare your child for the arrival of a sibling. You won’t want to tell your child the minute you learn you are expecting, but give your child several months to get used to the idea of a new baby. The age of your child is another factor in deciding when to share the news. When they learn about the baby early, the months can drag on while they wait for the baby.

Spend time reading books about babies. Get a baby doll and let your child practice diapering and dressing the baby. Use the doll to demonstrate the right way to hold a baby. Talk about the attention babies need. This helps your child learn that babies are dependent on their parents for everything. This may help with jealousy issues after the baby arrives.

Let your child help get ready for the new baby. Browse through catalogs and go shopping for the baby. Let your older child make a big decision, such as picking out baby’s first outfit or helping to select a theme for the nursery. This will help your child feel excited about the baby and will help her feel that she has an important role in the preparations. This boosts her self esteem and helps her feel confident.

Involve your older child in your pregnancy. When your child attends prenatal visits with you, the pregnancy won’t be such a mystery. Children love hearing their siblings’ heartbeats at prenatal visits. My girls are always excited when it’s time for the ultrasound. They get to “see” the baby and find out if they are having a brother or a sister.

Some hospitals have sibling classes for older children. These classes can be fun and help your child prepare for the role of big brother or big sister. In most classes, the kids watch a movie about having a new baby in the house. The instructor will use a doll to show the children how a new baby should be held.

An added benefit of many classes is a tour of the maternity ward. Your child will get to see a room like the one where the baby will be born and a room like the one you will stay in while you are in the hospital. The kids may get to peek in the newborn nursery and may even see a new baby. When the time comes for you to go to the hospital, your child will be familiar with the concept. When he arrives to visit you and the baby, he may feel more comfortable.

A new baby gets a lot of attention. Guests arrive bearing gifts for the newest family member. This can make some children feel left out. Consider buying a few small gifts and wrapping them. You can give a small gift to your child when you feel she needs some attention or when presents arrive for the baby. Craft items and small activity books will keep your child amused and give you a few minutes to rest with the baby. A story book is a good choice. You can snuggle up on the sofa with the baby and your child and read while you feed the baby.

by Patricia Hughes

If you are expecting a baby and want to stay home, you need to determine if you can make it on one income. You will need to figure out your monthly expenses and determine where you can cut expenses. You also need to figure out how much money going to work costs to determine how much of your paycheck you will be bringing home at the end of each month.

Figuring Out Your Monthly Expenses

To determine if you need to return to work, you need to start by figuring out your monthly expenses. Track these for several months during your pregnancy. Dig out your bank statements from recent months to help get an idea of your monthly expenses. List every dime you spend on bills and other things.

Make a list of all your expenses. Include all your bills, such as the mortgage, car payments, all insurances, utility bills and food. List the cost of eating out, entertainment, clothes, gifts and any other money you spend on a regular basis. Include car maintenance, home maintenance and gas costs.

Once you have listed all your expenses for a period of several months, look over your list. What expenses are incurred every month? This will include all your bills, such as your mortgage, car payment, insurances and utility bills. These won’t change and you will need to cover these expenses every month. Look at the rest of your list for ways you can cut back on expenses and be able to stay with your baby.

Determining the Cost of Working
Next, you need to figure out the costs incurred by working. The largest expense most families face is the cost of child care. Child care can be very expensive, depending on where you live and the type of care you want for your child. Your child care expenses will most likely range from $500 to $1000 per month for either in home or center based day care.

This figure is for one child. If you have more than one child, the figure will be higher. A nanny or private baby sitter will cost even more money. Call around to care providers in your area and inquire about prices in your area to get an idea of the costs involved with child care. Talk to friends and co workers to find out what they are paying for child care each month.

The next largest expense most people face is the cost of commuting. This cost will depend on how far you travel and how you get to and from work. If you drive to work, figure out the money you spend on gas and maintenance as well as the wear and tear on your vehicle. Gasoline is very expensive right now. The cost of gas alone can add up to hundreds of dollars each month. Do you have to pay for parking? Include this figure as well.

Some people use public transportation. Do you take the train or bus to and from your job? If you do, figure out what you spend each month to travel to work. Add this figure to the cost of working.

Do you eat take out foods for lunch? How many times each month do you eat out for lunch? How much do you generally spend each time you order take out for lunch? Multiply how much you spend each day by the number of days you typically eat take out for lunch. Add this figure to the cost of working. Also, consider how many evenings in a typical month you eat take out for dinner. Working women tend to do this more than women who stay home, because they are either too tired or home too late to cook.

Consider the money you spend on clothes for work. The cost of a professional wardrobe can get quite expensive. If you take your work outfits to the dry cleaners, consider how much you spend on cleaning. Add these figures to the costs of going to work.

When you have finished figuring out the cost of each of these areas, figure out the monthly total. Subtract this figure from your monthly take home salary. How much is left after all the costs of working are deducted? You may find there is very little money left over. Is it worth working full time for this amount of money?

How to Cut Corners and Save Money

If you want to stay home, you will need to learn how to cut your expenses to save money. It is quite an adjustment to go from two paychecks to one. You won’t be able to spend money like you did before the baby was born. Go back to your list of monthly expenses. Look at entertainment, clothing and the cost of eating out. Often, these expenses are the easiest place to cut back.

Consider your grocery bill. You may think this expense is steady and can’t be changed. You can save money on the cost of food. Start clipping coupons. You can find coupons in the Sunday newspaper and on many online coupon websites. These sites offer tips on saving money on food. Consider joining a warehouse club to save even more money. You can save quite a bit by buying the things you use frequently in bulk.

Just because you are cutting corners doesn’t mean you can never have fun or buy anything new. You just have to learn to be a bargain shopper. Shop during sales for clothes for you and the kids. Shop for items like winter jackets at the end of the season for the following year to save money. You can still have a date night with your husband by trading babysitting with another couple or asking grandma to do the honors. You will need to get creative with your financing to stay home with your baby.

Biography Patricia Hughes is a freelance writer and mother of four. Patricia has a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University. She has written extensively on pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. In addition, she has written about home décor and travel.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2006

• Irritability
• Loss of energy
• Headaches
• Heart palpitations
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Frequent crying
• Feeling sad or hopeless
• Chest pains
• Lack of motivation
• Change in sleep or eating habits
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Having trouble focusing
• Trouble making decisions
• No interest in the baby
• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

• Do you feel depressed every day?
• Is there a history of depression in your family?
• Have you previously suffered from depression or anxiety?
• Have you felt depressed during or after a previous pregnancy?
• How is your marriage? Marital problems can make symptoms of post partum depression worse.
• Do you have a support system? It’s important to have friends or family you can talk to about your feelings. 

Contributing Factors of Post Partum Depression – Other factors contribute to depression after a baby is born. A lack of sleep and interrupted sleep patterns can trigger a depressed mood in some women. You will be tired after the delivery of your baby. In addition, new babies wake frequently to be fed during the night. This lack of rest in the early months contributes to feelings of depression. Rest is essential for health. Make up for lost sleep by napping with the baby during the day.

Having a new baby in the house can be overwhelming. You may feel stressed about the new responsibility. You may worry that you’re not up to the task or think you won’t be a good mother. These negative feelings make depressed feelings worse. Talking to other moms can help you get over these feelings. Reading about caring for your new baby may help too.

You may feel stressed after the birth of your baby. Extreme stress can trigger feelings of depression. There are many causes of stress after the birth of a baby. The change in your daily routine, or lack of any routine, can cause you to feel stress. Financial worries or adjusting to living on one paycheck can make you feel stressed too. You need to determine the cause of your stress to feel better. Once you know what is making you feel stressed, you can take steps to deal with it.

Treatment Options for Post Partum Depression – Don’t be afraid to seek help if you are feeling depressed. Talk to your doctor. Post partum depression doesn’t mean you are a bad person or won’t be a good parent. This condition is very common and affects about one in ten new mothers. Your doctor can help you get treatment and feel better. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you will feel better.

There are a few different treatment options for depression. Some doctors are quick to reach for the prescription pad and write a prescription for anti depressants. There is nothing wrong with taking anti depressants. There are some that are safe for breastfeeding mothers. Other women find talk therapy to be helpful. The best results come from a combination of medication and therapy. Seek help from a qualified therapist to get to the root of the problem and feel better.

Congratulations Patricia from everyone at More4kids on the birth of your new son!

C Section Recovery by Patricia Hughes

If you have a c section, or are planning to deliver your baby with a c section for medical reasons, you may be surprised at the amount of time needed to recover. I found this out with the birth of my fourth child a few weeks ago. He was my first c section delivery. I went into labor eight days past my due date. After about 12 hours of labor, I was fully dilated. The problem in my case was that the baby’s head wouldn’t come down far enough to be born vaginally. No matter what we did, he just wouldn’t budge. Soon his heart rate began to drop and it was off to the operating room.  

The surgery went well and the baby was born healthy. I wasn’t in good shape at all. Being in the operating room with my arms strapped down was very scary. I was worried about the surgery. I was worried about the baby and the changes in his heart rate. Most of all, I was disappointed in the experience and upset at not holding him immediately after the birth. As I soon learned, a c section is major surgery and time is needed to heal. 

Recovery in the Hospital  

After the birth, you will be given pain medication. This will first be done through the epidural and then with injectable medications. These may have you feeling groggy, but you won’t be in pain. After the first day, you will be given pills to manage the pain. Take the pills when they are offered. When they begin to wear off, ask for more. Don’t try to brave the pain. Trust me, it only gets worse. It’s better to take the medication on schedule than to suffer through the pain.

The nurses will get you up and moving on the day after the surgery. You won’t want to get up, but do it anyway. Moving actually will help you heal. Use a pillow held against your abdomen when getting up. This helps support your abdomen and makes the pain less intense. 

You will experience pain from the incision as well as gas pains. Tell the nurse if these pains are bad or you aren’t passing the gas. They can give you medication to help. I was given chewable Mylicon tablets for gas pains. Constipation is another problem that many women experience after a c section. The nurses can give you medication to help with this problem as well. I was given Colace and told to drink lots of water. Even with these measures, it took me a week to get back to normal.
Recovery at Home 

When you are discharged from the hospital, you will be given a prescription for pain medication to take at home. Take the medication as prescribed to help with the pain. Remember you are still recovering from major surgery. Eventually, the pain will get better and you will do fine with over the counter pain medication, such as ibuprofen.

Take care of yourself after you get home with the baby. You need to focus on healing and caring for your baby. Don’t worry about the housework or cooking. Rest when the baby sleeps. You will be losing sleep at night. Make up for this loss of sleep by napping with the baby during the day.

You will need help when you get home. Have your spouse take advantage of any leave or vacation time he has available to lend a hand with the baby. Your mother, sister or friend may be able to lend a hand as well. My husband was home for the first week and a half. Then he had to go back to work. Since I have three other children, I was definitely not ready to be on my own. My mother took a week’s vacation to be here to help with the older girls.

Your doctor will probably tell you that you won’t be able to drive for three or four weeks after the birth of your baby. This can be difficult, since you won’t be able to get around on your own. You will have to depend on someone else to do the shopping and run errands. My husband had to take over the grocery shopping after my c section. I had to learn to let go and trust him to get what we need, even when he didn’t buy the brand I usually buy. 

Emotional Recovery from a C Section 

Some women find they need to heal emotionally as well as physically after a c section. You may feel disappointed at not having a vaginal birth. Other women get upset at the longer recovery time that is needed after a c section. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The most important thing is that both you and the baby are healthy. How the baby got here isn’t what matters most, that he’s here and healthy is what matters.

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