When you are pregnant and preparing for baby, there are several things most parents do to get ready. Expectant parents spend a lot of time preparing baby’s room, dealing with insurance, increasing or getting life insurance and taking parenting classes. However, many don’t spend any time at all preparing their marriage for the arrival of the baby.
Countless parents (if not all parents) will tell you their marriage changed dramatically after the birth of the baby. Many of these changes are good, but some are not. In some cases, the relationship gets neglected or there is not consensus in parenting decisions and responsibilities. This often breeds resentment.
In fact, for many couples, children aren’t cited high on the list in terms of marital fulfillment. A survey conducted by the Pew Center and reported in The Washington Post showed that children aren’t at the top of the list in terms of a successful marriage. Factors such as faithfulness, sex, household chore distribution and economic issues were listed ahead of having kids as a feature of a successful marriage.
There are a few things you can do to prepare your relationship for children and to avoid the pitfalls of adding parenthood to the dynamics of your relationship. One important step to take is to pay attention to each other. It is unbelievably easy to neglect each other once your day becomes about breastfeeding, diaper changes and getting baby to sleep. It takes concentrated effort to stay connected to each other.
One way many couples deal with this is to set regular date nights. The frequency can vary from once a week to once a month, but it’s important to spend time away from the baby and focused on each other. While you are still pregnant and don’t have to line up a babysitter, start the tradition of regular date nights. It will be easier to continue it after the baby is born.
Since issues such as chore distribution and economic factors rank high on the list of marital satisfaction, pay attention to these areas. In terms of chore distribution, it is common for mom and dad to be at odds. In some cases, the husband feels that since his wife is home all day, it is her job. This isn’t entirely realistic with a newborn in the house.More on Post Pregnancy: Preparing Your Marriage for Baby
Many people experience night sweats. This is a symptom associated with menopause, thyroid conditions, obesity and pregnancy. Genetics plays a role in the tendency to sweat at night. If you experienced night sweats prior to pregnancy, you may be more likely to have problems when you are pregnant. Make sure you consult with your health care professional.
How and when night sweats are experienced during pregnancy varies widely. Some women have an occasional episode and wake up soaked with sweat, but sleep uninterrupted most of the time. Others have problems frequently, particularly in the first and third trimesters when hormone fluctuations are most common. For some, the problem is resolved when the baby is born. For others, night sweats may continue in the weeks after the baby is born until the hormone levels gradually return to normal.
Causes of Night Sweats
Hormones are to blame for most of the discomforts and changes in pregnancy and sweating at night is no exception. Lower estrogen levels cause the hypothalamus to function improperly. The hypothalamus is a section of the brain that is responsible for regulating the body’s temperature. Normally, it responds to changes in temperature and releases excess heat in the body through sweat on a hot day.
During pregnancy, changes in estrogen levels can mistakenly be read by the hypothalamus, causing more heat to be produced by the body. This results in sweating to release the heat. The physiological process is similar to what is experienced by women in peri-menopause and menopause.More on Night Sweats During Pregnancy
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Pregnancy Hair Care by Patricia Hughes
Pregnancy changes many things about the body, including the hair. The changes and challenges each woman experiences with her hair are unique. Some of these changes, such as improved thickness and growth, are beneficial and others can be frustrating. As the hair changes, some adjustments in your hair care routine may be needed.
Many of the changes in the hair are caused by changes in the hormone levels during pregnancy, particularly estrogen and progesterone. Although all women experience hormonal changes, the response can depend on several factors, including genetics. For some women, less shedding of the hair results in thick, beautiful hair that has never looked better.
The thickness and shine some women experience isn't enjoyed by all pregnant women. Changes in the hair vary for each woman – and even from pregnancy to pregnancy in the same woman. It's possible to have great hair the first time and dry, brittle hair with a subsequent pregnancy.
Some women find their hair becomes dry during pregnancy and they may experience breakage as a result. If your hair is dry during pregnancy, use frequent deep conditioning treatments. Salon treatments may help and your stylist can offer suggestions for hair care products and techniques to improve the condition of your hair.More on Hair Care For Pregnant Women
by Patricia Hughes
Leg Cramps are common during Pregnancy
Leg cramps are a common discomfort in pregnancy, particularly in the third trimester. The sudden cramping and tightening of the calf muscles is extremely painful and often happens at night, causing you to wake in pain from a peaceful sleep.
The exact cause of leg cramps is not known, but there are some factors believed to contribute to leg cramps. The increased weight of pregnancy, changes in blood circulation and pressure on the nerves from the growing baby are believed to cause the discomfort in the legs. The best way to deal with leg cramps is to prevent them.
Preventing Leg Cramps
There are some things you can do to prevent leg cramps. Standing or sitting for too long at one time can cause leg cramping. If your job requires you to stand or sit for extended periods of time, take breaks throughout the day. Put your feet up if you stand for work and get up and walk around periodically if you sit at a desk.More on Pregnancy Leg Cramps
by Jennifer Shakeel
Fifteen years ago I was told by many, "remember you are eating for two now," every time I sat down to a meal. The doctors weren't really all that concerned with the amount of weight I should gain… though towards the end they did tell me that I should be careful I would have trouble losing the weight. I was young, 21, I didn't care I would get back in shape, no problem.
Jump ahead to last year, with my last pregnancy and my fear of gaining weight took me over, the doctor's said to me, "You aren't really eating for two. Your body is going to provide the baby with the nutrients first… and they you. So make healthy food choices and you will be fine." They key was everything in moderation.
You have to make healthy food choices so that the nutrients that are going into your body are good for you and baby. You do need additional nutrients to help baby grow properly and for you to remain healthy while you are pregnant, but you are not eating for two people. A simple increase of only 300 calories a day is ideal to take care of you and baby.More on Pregnancy Weight Gain: Am I Eating for 2?
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by Jennifer Shakeel
Congratulations, you have just given birth to a wonderful baby! However, as wonderful as giving birth is, the process puts tremendous stress and shock on your body. It is difficult to explain all of the complex and minute changes that your body has to go through to get your body back to pre-pregnancy status. In addition to recovering from being pregnant, the body also has to recover from the actual labor and birth of the baby, being up at all times of the night and day, severe sleep deprivation, and breastfeeding. Believe it or not your body goes through most of the changes in the first 30 days.
All of the "jobs" your body now has is often referred to the nutritional equivalent of running a half marathon… EVERY DAY. So it is important that new mothers understand that a lot of this work is done without them even realizing, so it is no wonder a mother's body and emotions are under such strain and generally leave us feeling fragile at this time. As such, emotional, physical and other issues can arise – which if not managed well can manifest into longer term problems. Studies have shown that a high percentage of new mothers in western cultures have health and sexual problems for several months to a year after delivery, and reported this as "normal".More on Pregnancy – The First 30 Days After Birth
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Anticipating the arrival of a new baby is an exciting experience. There are a number of preparations to be made, and many decisions to make. One of the most important decisions that parents have to make – especially mothers – has to do with the nourishment of the child. A mother must determine whether she will breastfeed her child, or feed her child through the use of a bottle.
I know how difficult that this type of decision is. I have been there, and had to make the decision as well. Here, I will expound on some of the pros and cons related to breastfeeding. I feel that it is important to know and understand these so that you can make a better informed decision overall. More on Breastfeeding – Pros and Cons
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by Jennifer Shakeel
This piece is really going to be geared towards all of the first time moms out there. Now if it has been awhile between pregnancies, like it was for me… about 10 years, then you are going to want to read this too because pregnancy was not like I remember it. It wasn’t bad, so I am not going to give you horror stories here. I did love being pregnant, I didn’t like the weight I gained but I did like the experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat. So trust me when I tell you that there will be nothing else in life that will ever compare to the wonders of what you are going through and what you have yet to experience.
But I am going to tell you the truth. I am going to tell you what all of those wonderful books out there… leave out. Understand this first; no two pregnancies are the same. This means that your pregnancy is not going to be like your mom’s or your best friend’s and if you have been pregnant before… this pregnancy will be unlike that one. I don’t know why really, I think it is Mother Nature’s way of preparing you for being a parent. As a parent you have to be prepared for anything and be able to handle whatever your child is going to surprise you with. Well, that is my story and I am sticking to it anyway.
I don’t think it necessary to go all the way back to before you found out you were pregnant. You already know that you felt tired… or you were experiencing a lot of nausea. Whatever it was, you just weren’t feeling like yourself. Congratulations on your wonderful news! I will start with the way you feel. I want you to know right now that every woman out there that has found out she is pregnant, throughout time, is not always happy about the news. More on What to Really Expect When You Are Expecting
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As a father twice, I can tell you from personal experience that there are many joys to being an expectant dad, like seeing your first ultrasound, or feeling your baby kick for its first time. However, it is probably difficult to really understand what the mother of your child is actually going through during pregnancy. Having never been through pregnancy, you feel like you might not connect with your wife and know exactly what you can do for her. Being prepared for some of the issues and stresses that are facing your partner is a great way for you to become connected to her and to your child. Many times it is easy to concentrate on the physical changes that a woman is going through during pregnancy, and not the emotional and hormonal changes. If we prepare ourselves to be aware of all of the changes that are occurring, we can develop a closer relationship with her and possibly help to alleviate some of the stress she may encounter.
During those first few months of pregnancy can be a roller coaster for moms, as well as for dads. The hormonal changes alone can bring on different personalities that we may have not encountered before. Your partner may be more prone to crying, and can be agitated at times and not even really understand why. These emotional changes are all very normal, and you can help by just being understanding when they happen. Try to be open and receptive to her needs and give comfort when she needs it. Firm hugs and an “I Love You” can go a long way to soothe your wife. Showing affection and love is a great way for you to show you understand that she is going through a lot of emotional changes. More on Tips for Expectant Dads
by Jennifer Shakeel
Most women have heard that once you give birth to your child, you may experience symptoms of depression, or what many refer to as the “baby blues”. Many believe this is caused by hormonal changes along with the adjustments of a newborn that needs care 24 hours a day seven days a week. Most women are sleep deprived and have little energy, which could contribute to symptoms of depression. It is important for women and their families to be aware of the signs and symptoms of a more serious condition, postpartum depression.
Postpartum depression, a depression diagnosed right after childbirth, is a serious illness that affects a woman’s ability to complete every day tasks and can cause them to become despondent. Not only does the inability to care for her own personal needs, she begins to become unable to care for her baby, and to meet other family members needs. During a woman’s pregnancy, the female hormones estrogen and progesterone are at increased levels. Within the first 24 hours after giving birth, these hormone levels rapidly return to normal. Many researchers believe that this huge decrease in hormone levels may be the leading cause of depression.
More on Postpartum Depression: Signs and Symptoms
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by Jennifer Shakeel
Many expectant parents are swept up in the romance of having a new baby. We tend to get so excited over the arrival of baby that we forget to think about the changes that are going to take place, whether we want them to or not. As wonderful as being a new parent is, whether this is your first child or second or third, having a baby will change your life forever.
I think that it is a given that restful nights of sleep are a thing of the past, and for at least one parent, so are regular showers. New parents often sleep two or three hours at a time, because their infant has a bi-hourly or tri-hourly feeding schedule. It often happens that the parent has just fallen asleep only to awake to their infant’s crying. This irregular sleeping schedule changes little throughout the average baby’s first year of life. I laugh at this really; I have three children, the first two slept through the night from the moment they came out. The most recent addition to our family though, has an agenda all her own. Some nights she sleeps through the night, some nights she is up every 45 minutes, other nights she is up ever two or three hours. I have decided that it depends on where the moon is sitting in the sky and the direction of the wind. More on How a Baby Changes Your Life
