ʻO ka lilo ʻana i makua e hoʻololi i kou pilina me kāu wahine. Hoʻomaka pinepine nā hoʻololi ma mua o ka hiki ʻana mai o ka pēpē. E hoʻololi nā male a pau i kekahi degere. He maikaʻi paha kekahi o nā hoʻololi a maikaʻi ʻole kekahi.
E ʻike paha ʻoe e hopohopo nui ana kāu kāne no kou olakino. Hiki iā ia ke hōʻike i ka hopohopo e pili ana i nā hōʻailona hāpai, kou olakino a i ʻole ke olakino o ka pēpē. Ke mālama nui nei kekahi mau kāne i kā lākou wahine i ka wā e hāpai ana lākou i ka pēpē.
ʻIke ka hapa nui o nā kāne i ka loli ʻana o kā lākou kamaʻilio ʻana i ka wā e kali ana lākou i kahi pēpē. Malia paha kāu mau kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i ka politika, nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni a me nā hanana o kēia manawa. E piʻi aʻe ana lākou e pili ana i ka hānau ʻana, ke kūʻai ʻana i nā lako pēpē, nā inoa no ka pēpē a me ke ʻano o kāu hānai ʻana i kāu keiki. E ʻoi aku ka nui o kēia hoʻololi ma hope o ka hiki ʻana mai o ka pēpē.
ʻAʻole ʻoluʻolu nā kamaʻilio ʻana. No ka mea he kanaka noʻonoʻo ʻolua, ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e ʻae i nā kumuhana like ʻole e pili ana i ka makua. Inā hoʻolilo ʻoe i kekahi o kou manawa i ka wā hāpai ʻana e heluhelu ai a kūkākūkā i kāu ʻikepili makua, ʻike paha ʻoe he mau manaʻo ʻokoʻa loa kāu e pili ana i ka hānai ʻana i kāu keiki liʻiliʻi.
I ka wā mua, pili paha kēia mau manaʻo e pili ana i ka hānau ʻana o ke pēpē. Makemake paha ʻoe e hānau ma ka home akā hopohopo kāu kāne no ka palekana o ʻoe a me ka pēpē a makemake ʻoe e hele i kahi haukapila. ʻO nā kuʻikahi mua ʻē aʻe i kekahi manawa pono nā kāne e hoʻokele i ke kikowaena a puni ka hānai a me ka hiamoe ʻana, ʻoiai ʻo ia ka hana a nā keiki hou i ka hapa nui o ka manawa. ʻO ka hānai ʻana me ka ʻōmole a i ʻole ka hiamoe ʻana i loko o kou lumi vs. ʻo ka lumi ponoʻī o ka pēpē he mau kumuhana maʻamau e hiki ai ke hoʻohaunaele.
He manawa maikaʻi kēia e hoʻomaʻamaʻa e kūkākūkā i nā kuʻikahi ma ke ʻano mahalo. ʻO ke kamaʻilio ʻana i kekahi i kekahi me ka mahalo a me ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e ʻimi i ka manaʻo maʻamau he mea maikaʻi ia no kāu male ʻana a e hoʻonohonoho i ka leo no ke ʻano o kou makua ʻana i kāu keiki. Aia ka manaʻo o nā makuahine ʻo lākou ka mea mālama nui, no laila pono lākou e hana i nā lula. Eia naʻe, inā hoʻokokoke ʻoe i nā kuʻikahi me ka mahalo, e pale ia i nā hakakā mana e hiki ke hōʻino i kou pilina.
He mea maʻalahi ke komo i loko o ka hāpai ʻana a me ka pēpē ma hope o ka hānau ʻana. Eia naʻe, he mea nui e hoʻokaʻawale i ka manawa no kekahi i kekahi. ʻAʻole maʻalahi kēia i nā manawa a pau, ʻoiai i nā mahina mua akā he mea nui ia. E hana i kahi lā a noi iā Tūtū e hele mai e nānā i ka pēpē. Hauʻoli ka hapa nui i ka loaʻa ʻana o ka manawa me ka pēpē. Inā hiki ʻole kēia, e hoʻokaʻawale i ka manawa no ka lā liʻiliʻi i ka pō ma hope o ka hiamoe ʻana o ka pēpē.
ʻO ka lawe ʻana i ka manawa e hānai ai i kāu male i kēia manawa e pōmaikaʻi kāu pēpē ma hope. Ua loaʻa i nā mea noiʻi ma ka Administration for Children and Families kekahi mau pono no nā keiki ke loaʻa ka male maikaʻi o ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne. ʻOi aku ka holomua o nā keiki a nā mākua male ma ke kula noiʻi a hele i ke kulanui. He haʻahaʻa ka haʻahaʻa o ka hāpai ʻana o ka ʻōpio, ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka lāʻau a me ka waiʻona, ka hewa a me ka liʻiliʻi o nā pilikia pili. Ua paʻa kēia mau ʻano no nā keiki me nā mākua i kahi male olakino. E nānā i ka ʻike hou aku ma aneʻi: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/benefits/index.html
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