na Jennifer Shakeel
E hoʻohana maoli ʻia kēia ʻāpana i nā makuahine mua i waho. I kēia manawa inā ua liʻiliʻi ma waena o ka hāpai ʻana, e like me ia iaʻu… ma kahi o 10 mau makahiki, a laila makemake ʻoe e heluhelu i kēia no ka mea ʻaʻole like ka hāpai ʻana iaʻu. ʻAʻole maikaʻi, no laila ʻaʻole wau e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā moʻolelo weliweli ma aneʻi. Aloha au i ka hāpai ʻana, ʻaʻole wau makemake i ke kaumaha i loaʻa iaʻu akā makemake wau i ka ʻike. E hana hou au me ka puʻuwai. No laila e hilinaʻi iaʻu i kaʻu haʻi ʻana iā ʻoe ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe i ke ola e hoʻohālikelike ʻia i nā mea kupanaha o kāu e hele nei a me nā mea āu e ʻike ai.
Aka, e hai aku ana au ia oe i ka oiaio. E haʻi aku wau iā ʻoe i kēlā mau puke maikaʻi loa ma waho… haʻalele. E hoomaopopo mua i keia; ʻaʻole like nā hāpai ʻelua. ʻO ia hoʻi, ʻaʻole e like kou hāpai ʻana me kou makuahine a i ʻole kou hoa aloha a inā ua hāpai ʻoe ma mua… e like ʻole kēia hāpai ʻana me kēlā. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu ke kumu, manaʻo wau ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka Makua Nature e hoʻomākaukau ai iā ʻoe no ka lilo ʻana i makua. Ma ke ʻano he makua pono ʻoe e mākaukau no kekahi mea a hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama i nā mea a kāu keiki e kāhāhā ai iā ʻoe. ʻAe, ʻo ia kaʻu moʻolelo a ke hoʻomau nei au i ia moʻolelo.
Manaʻo wau ʻaʻole pono e hoʻi i hope ma mua o kou ʻike ʻana ua hāpai ʻoe. Ua ʻike mua ʻoe ua luhi ʻoe… a i ʻole ua loaʻa ʻoe i ka nui o ka nausea. ʻO kēlā me kēia, ʻaʻole ʻoe i like me ʻoe iho. Hoʻomaikaʻi i kāu nūhou maikaʻi! E hoʻomaka wau me kou manaʻo. Makemake wau e ʻike ʻoe i kēia manawa ʻo kēlā me kēia wahine ma waho i ʻike ua hāpai ʻo ia, i nā manawa āpau, ʻaʻole hauʻoli mau i ka nūhou.
Nui nā kumu e kaumaha ai ka wahine, huhū a huhū a kaumaha paha i ka hāpai ʻana. E noʻonoʻo, he mea maʻamau kēia. ʻAe… he mea maʻamau. ʻAʻohe mea e haʻi aku iā ʻoe no ka mea aia mākou i kēia manaʻo e hauʻoli ka wahine i ka wā e loaʻa ai ia lono a i ka wā hauʻoli ʻole ka wahine ʻaʻohe mea i ʻike i ka mea e hana ai a ʻōlelo paha. E loaʻa ana iā ʻoe, a ʻo ka manawa mua āu e ʻike ai i ka neʻe ʻana o ka pēpē, a i ʻole ka lohe ʻana i ka puʻuwai o ka pēpē e loli kou ʻano. Me hoʻokahi hapai ua uē au no ʻekolu lā ma hope o koʻu ʻike ʻana. ʻOi aku koʻu aloha i kēlā keiki ma mua o nā mea āpau, a ʻo ka hapa nui o ka hāpai ʻana ua hauʻoli loa wau a hauʻoli hoʻi. Akā i ka hoʻomaka ʻana ua kaumaha au. E loaʻa ana iā ʻoe.
ʻOiai mākou e pili ana i ke kumuhana o nā manaʻo, makemake wau e hōʻike iā ʻoe he mea maʻamau ka nīnau inā he makuahine maikaʻi ʻoe a ʻaʻole paha. He mea maʻamau iā ʻoe ke kānalua i kou hiki. ʻO ka mea ʻoiaʻiʻo, manaʻo wau ʻo nā wahine e hele wāwae ana me ka manaʻo e lilo lākou i makuahine maikaʻi loa ma ka honua… Hoʻomaha hiki iā ʻoe ke hana. E hana ʻoe, a e hana ʻoe i ka maikaʻi o kou hiki a ʻaʻohe hewa i kou manaʻo kānalua i kēia manawa. Ma koʻu makuahine o ʻekolu mau lā aʻu e noho ai i laila a hele aku, “ʻAʻole anei lākou e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi me kahi makuahine ʻē aʻe?
Mai kou mau manaʻo a i kou kino, hoʻomaka maoli ka leʻaleʻa ma ʻaneʻi. ʻO ʻoe i kēia manawa e loaʻa ana ke kaumaha. E ʻae iā ia i kēia manawa, e ʻae i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i kēia manawa ʻo ka manawa hoʻokahi i kou ola ke kūpono ʻole i kou jeans he mea maikaʻi. ʻO ia hoʻi, ke ulu nei ka pēpē, a olakino kēlā pēpē. I kēia manawa ke kau nei i ke kaumaha nui, no laila pono ʻoe e mālama pono i kou paona, akā mai hopohopo no ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaumaha. He mea maikaʻi ka hāpai ʻana a ʻo 99% o ka poʻe e ʻike i kēlā ala. ʻIke wau ʻaʻole maʻalahi, nānā au i ke aniani a ʻike wau iaʻu iho e momona ana… Pono wau e hoʻōki iaʻu iho a hoʻomanaʻo iaʻu iho ua hāpai wau a ke ulu nei au i kahi pēpē maikaʻi ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kali e hālāwai.
Me ke kaumaha a me ka ulu ʻana o ka pēpē pēpē, hiki mai nā pilikia ʻē aʻe, e like me nā ʻeha a me nā ʻeha āu i loaʻa ʻole ai ma mua. E neʻe ana kou pūhaka i waho, pilikia ʻoe i ke ala ʻana a i lalo, a paʻakikī paha ka hele ʻana. E pili ana ia i ka nui o ke kaumaha āu e kau ai, ka nui o ka wai āu e mālama ai a me ka nui o ke pēpē. Me kaʻu pēpē hou loa, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ʻai a ʻai paha i ka hapa nui o ka trimester hope loa. Ua ʻoluʻolu ʻole au. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke noho, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hiamoe… aia kekahi mau pō i uē wale ai au no ka luhi a me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole. Ua hala nae. Noʻu, ʻo koʻu pilikia ke ʻano o ka waiho ʻana o kaʻu pēpē a me kona nui. ʻAʻole pono wau e ʻōlelo nui, ua lōʻihi loa ʻo ia a lawe ʻo ia i nā wahi āpau i loko o laila e ʻoki ai i koʻu mau ʻōpū. Ke haʻi aku nei au iā ʻoe ma hope o koʻu loaʻa ʻana iā ia ʻaʻole loa wau i hauʻoli nui e hele i ka lumi lua.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ka emi ʻana o kou libido, a i ʻole e ʻike paha ʻoe e piʻi ana kou libido. ʻAʻole hiki i kekahi ke wānana i kēlā. Akā ʻo ia kahi mea āu e hana ai. Ma ia keʻena e ʻike pū ana ʻoe i ka ulu ʻana o ka pēpē pēpē… pono ʻoe e lilo i mea noʻonoʻo a noʻonoʻo i kēlā ʻoihana. E ʻae mai iaʻu e hāʻawi aku i kahi ʻōlelo hōʻole nui ma ʻaneʻi, ʻaʻole e hōʻeha ka moe kolohe i ka pēpē. ʻOiai ʻoe e akahele i ka hoʻonoho ʻana a olakino ka pēpē e maikaʻi nā mea a pau.
E hele ana ʻoe i nā loli he nui ma ke kino a me ka naʻau. E wehe iā lākou, a e ʻimi i kahi āu e kamaʻilio ai e pili ana iā lākou. Manaʻolana hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio me kāu hoa pili, inā ʻaʻole he hoaaloha maikaʻi loa a ʻohana paha. Nui nō hoʻi nā pūnaewele kaiapili a me nā ʻaha kūkā e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke kau inoa a kamaʻilio me nā wahine hāpai ʻē aʻe. He manawa hoʻohauʻoli ia, akā hiki ke weliweli a nīnau paha ʻoe i kou ʻano. ʻO ia ke kumu he mea nui e loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi mea e kamaʻilio ai.
E maikaʻi, a pono nā mea a pau ke paʻa ʻoe i kāu pēpē hou i kou mau lima no ka manawa mua.
Hoʻomaikaʻi! Aloha a Maluhia
Kawaihae
He mea kākau ʻo Jennifer Shakeel a he kahu hānai ma mua o 12 mau makahiki o ka ʻike olakino. Ma ke ʻano he makuahine o nā keiki maikaʻi ʻelua me hoʻokahi ma ke ala, eia wau e haʻi aku iā ʻoe i nā mea aʻu i aʻo ai e pili ana i ka makua a me nā hauʻoli a me nā loli i ka wā hāpai. Hiki iā mākou ke ʻakaʻaka a uē a hauʻoli i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he mau makuahine mākou!
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