Ukuba umzali kushintsha ubuhlobo bakho nomngane wakho womshado. Izinguquko zivame ukuqala ngaphambi kokuba umntwana afike. Yonke imishado izoshintsha ngezinga elithile. Ezinye izinguquko zingase zibe zinhle kanti ezinye zingezinhle kangako.
Ungathola ukuthi umyeni wakho ukhathazeka kakhulu nempilo yakho. Angase azwakalise ukukhathazeka ngezimpawu zokukhulelwa, impilo yakho yonke noma inhlalakahle yengane. Amanye amadoda agcina ebavikela kakhulu amakhosikazi awo uma ethwele izingane.
Imibhangqwana eminingi ithola ukuthi izingxoxo zayo ziyashintsha lapho ikhulelwe. Mhlawumbe izingxoxo zakho bezikhuluma ngepolitiki, amamuvi nemicimbi yamanje. Ngokukhula, zizoba mayelana nokuzalwa, ukuthenga izinto zezingane, amagama omntwana ngisho nokuthi uzoyikhulisa kanjani ingane yakho. Lolu shintsho luzogqama nakakhulu ngemva kokufika komntwana.
Izingxoxo zingase zingabi mnandi zonke. Njengoba nobabili ningabantu abacabangayo, kungenzeka ukuthi ngeke nivumelane ngezihloko ezihlukahlukene ezihlobene nokuba umzali. Uma uchitha isikhathi sakho ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa ufunda futhi uxoxa ngefilosofi yakho yobuzali, ungase uthole ukuthi unemibono ehluke kakhulu mayelana nendlela yokukhulisa ingane yakho.
Ekuqaleni lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye kungase kube mayelana nokuzalwa komntwana. Ungase ufune ukuzalelwa ekhaya kodwa umyeni wakho wesaba ukuphepha kwakho nengane futhi ufuna ukuthi uye esibhedlela. Okunye ukungaboni ngaso linye kwasekuqaleni imibhangqwana ngezinye izikhathi kufanele izulazule ezindaweni zokudla nokulala, ngoba yilokho okwenziwa izingane ezisanda kuzalwa isikhathi esiningi. Ukuncelisa ibele uma kuqhathaniswa nebhodlela noma ukulala ekamelweni lakho uma kuqhathaniswa negumbi lomntwana yizihloko ezivamile ezingabangela ukungezwani.
Lesi yisikhathi esihle sokuzijwayeza ukuxoxa ngokungezwani ngendlela enenhlonipho. Ukuxoxa ngenhlonipho nokuzama ukuthola izinto enivumelana ngazo kuwulungele umshado wenu futhi kuzobeka ithoni yendlela okhulisa ngayo ingane yakho ndawonye. Kunomkhuba wokuthi omama bazizwe yibona abanakekela izingane, ngakho kufanele bashaye imithetho. Kodwa-ke, uma ubhekana nokungaboni ngaso linye ngenhlonipho, kuzovimbela imibango yamandla engalimaza ubuhlobo benu.
Kulula ukugoqa ekukhulelweni nasenganeni ngemva kokuzalwa. Nokho, kubalulekile ukuba nesikhathi somunye nomunye. Lokhu akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi, ikakhulukazi ezinyangeni zokuqala kodwa kubalulekile. Yenza usuku bese ucela uGogo ukuthi eze azobuka ingane. Abaningi bayakujabulela ukuba nesikhathi esincane nomntwana. Uma lokhu kungenakwenzeka, yenza isikhathi sedethi encane ebusuku ngemva kokuba ingane ilele.
Ukuzinika isikhathi sokukhulisa umshado wakho manje kuzozuzisa ingane yakho kamuva. Abacwaningi ku-Administration for Children and Families bathola izinzuzo ezimbalwa zezingane lapho umama nobaba benomshado onempilo. Izingane zabazali abashadile ocwaningweni locwaningo zivame ukuphumelela kakhulu esikoleni futhi maningi amathuba okuthi ziye ekolishi. Izingane zazinezinga eliphansi lokukhulelwa kwentsha, ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa notshwala, ubuhlongandlebe futhi zinezinkinga ezimbalwa zokuziphatha. Lezi zindlela zazihlala ziyiqiniso ezinganeni ezinabazali emshadweni onempilo. Hlola ulwazi olwengeziwe lapha: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/benefits/index.html
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