Ukusiza Izingane Zakini Ezindala Zizivumelanise Nokufika Okusha

nguJennifer Shakeel

Ngakho uthola ingane entsha. Ukwengeza okumangalisayo emndenini wakho ojabulayo, noma ucabanga kanjalo. Sengidlule kabili kulokhu. Okokuqala kwakunendodakazi yethu endala, futhi yayikuthanda ukuba iyodwa ingane. Sabe sesikhulelwe, okwasimangaza sonke, futhi kwadingeka simlungiselele ingane yakwethu entsha. Wayeneminyaka emithathu ngaleso sikhathi, emine ngesikhathi kuzalwa umfowabo. Lokho kwenzeka eminyakeni eyishumi nanye edlule. Muva nje sengeze enye ingane, eyayihlelelwe umkhaya wakithi. Njengoba iminyaka engu-14 iphakathi komncane wethu nomdala kanye neminyaka engu-11 phakathi kweyesibili nomncane kunabo bonke, sasicabanga ngempela ukuthi izinto zizohamba kahle.

Kufanele ngisho ukuthi sisebenzele ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi izinto zihamba kahle. Indodana yethu yayinokukhathazeka okuthile ngokungaseyona ingane emndenini, kodwa yayibheke ngabomvu ukuba umfowethu omkhulu. Umdala wethu wayejabule sonke isikhathi sokukhulelwa, akakwazanga ukulinda umntwana futhi wajabula kakhulu lapho sithola ukuthi sinentombazane. Bobabili bazwakalise ukukhathazeka okuthile ngokuthi sizobathanda noma cha ngendlela efanayo, uma bengaba nendawo efanayo ezinhliziyweni zethu. Ngamangala ngeminyaka yabo ukuthi basakhathazekile. Esinye sezizathu ezenza silinde isikhathi eside kangaka ngengane yethu yesithathu ukuthi indodana yethu yayingafuni ukuba ingane.

Noma kunjalo, senze zonke izinto ezifanele. Saxoxa nabo ngokuphindaphindiwe ngemizwa yabo ngosana olusanda kuzalwa, ukuthi lwaluyini uvalo noma ukukhathazeka kwabo. Saqonda ukuthi singabatshela noma yini esiyifunayo, kodwa kwakuzodingeka bakubone ukuze bakholwe. Ngakho ngempela kwadingeka silinde indodakazi yethu ize izalwe. Sabahlanganisa ngokusemandleni ethu ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, baya kuma-ultrasounds, bafika kuwo wonke ama-alamu angamanga esibhedlela, futhi ubaba wabo wahamba wayowalanda ngokushesha ngemva kokuphuma kwesikole futhi wabaletha esibhedlela lapho simthola. Sabavumela ukuba bambambe, bakhulume naye, senze isiqiniseko sokuthi nabo bayazi ukuthi babaluleke njengengane entsha.

Into ebesingayilungiselele yizinkinga ezikhona phakathi kwezelamani. Uma sikhuluma iqiniso, sasingakaze sicabange ngakho. Umdala wethu wayengenankinga nobaba wakhe nami, kodwa nomfowabo. Wayenezinkinga ngokuthi umfowabo omncane, okwathi ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwengane, wamkhwelisa odongeni futhi wayefuna nje ukuthi amshiye yedwa... manje wayecasukile lapho efuna ukuchitha isikhathi nengane hhayi yena. . Wayedlalisa naye, kodwa uma edlala wayemphatha kabi, lapho ayemlimaza khona. Ngagcina ngimhlalise phansi ngimxoxele ukuthi kwenzakalani emhlabeni, kwavele kwangikhanyela. Wayenomona ngoba kwakungasekho nje ukunakwa umfowabo. Manje kwase kunengane.

Indodana yethu yayisesimweni esididayo. Wayefuna ukuba umfowabo omkhulu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo wayefuna ukuba umntwana. Ngakho-ke induduzo yakhe yayikudadewabo omdala, ngoba kwakunaye ukuthi usengaba umfowabo omncane. Yebo wayejabulile ukuba ubhuti omkhulu, kodwa wayengafuni ngempela ukuyeka ukuba yingane noma umfowabo omncane. Ngemva kokuxoxa nabo bobabili, sanquma ukuthi lena into ababezozitholela yona kodwa bobabili babazi ukuthi bangeza bazokhuluma nami noma nobaba wabo. Ngenhlanhla, lapho ingane yethu yendodakazi inamasonto amabili ubudala, izingane zethu ezimbili ezindala zase zamukele imizwa yazo. Bobabili baqaphela ukuthi lokho esasibatshele khona ezinyangeni eziyisishiyagalolunye ezidlule kwakuyiqiniso. Sasibathanda njengoba nje sasibathanda ngaphambi komntwana futhi asizange siyishintshe indlela esasibaphatha ngayo noma ubuhlobo bethu nabo.

Kusho ukuthini konke lokhu? Kusho ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izingane zakho ezindala zineminyaka emingaki ukuthola umntwana kunzima kuzo. Ngikhumbula ngesikhathi sinendodana yethu, indodakazi yethu endala yayingamthandi ekuqaleni. Empeleni nginesithombe esivela esibhedlela esifingqa imizwa yakhe ngaleso sikhathi. Unamathele kimi futhi ubheke phansi umfowabo futhi ubuso bakhe buthi, "Umama wami lo futhi udinga ukuhamba." Wayewakhumula amasokisi esemncane ukuze nje amvuse. Wayeneminyaka engu-3 nohhafu lapho kuzalwa umfowabo. Yebo, ngisho ngesinye isikhathi ngathola amazwi athi, “Umthanda kakhulu kunalokho ungithanda,” ukuphawula.

Uzokuzwa lokhu, ikakhulukazi uma ingane yakho endala isencane. Ngifuna ukukutshela manje, ukuthi akukhona ukuthi kukhona okungalungile okwenzile. Impendulo yakho kufanele ifane neyami, “Angisamthandi umntwana ngaphezu kwalokho ngikuthanda, ingane ingidinga kakhulu njengamanje.” Kumele ubachazele ukuthi kukhona izinto abakwazi ukuzenza bebodwa, kodwa ingane ayikwazi ukwenza lutho iyodwa futhi idinga usizo kukho konke.

Anginaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ikhona indlela yokulungiselela ngokuphelele izingane zakho ezindala ukuthola ingane yakini entsha ukuze kungabi namaqhubu emgwaqeni. Iseluleko sami esingcono kakhulu ukuthi uvulekele nabo; balalele lapho beveza imizwa yabo nezinto ezibakhathazayo. UNGABATSHELI ukuthi bayiziphukuphuku ngokucabanga lokho, futhi ungakushayi umoya. Khuluma nabo. Chaza ukuthi yiliphi iqhaza elaziwayo wonke umuntu emndenini. Ngenkathi indodana yethu ikhathazekile ngokungaseyona ingane emndenini yayijabulela ukuba umfowethu.

Esinye isiphakamiso, uma unamagama ezifuywayo ozibiza ngezingane zakho qiniseka ukuthi awubhekiseli kumntwana ngalezo ziteketiso. Isibonelo, endala yethu inkosazana kababa kanye nentombazane yami, indodana yethu iNdodakazi yethu ngakho-ke ayikho indlela emhlabeni ukuthi ingane yethu yendodakazi ingabizwa ngokuthi inkosazana kababa, iyingelosi kababa kanye nentombazane yami. Ungacabangi ukuthi izingane zakho ezindala aziwanaki la magama, ziyawanaka.

Eqinisweni, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukukhuluma nezingane zakho. Kunezincwadi ongazithola futhi uzifundele izingane zakho ezincane. Udinga ukudambisa ukwesaba kwabo, futhi uthole injabulo ngokuba umfowethu noma udadewabo. Ngokujabulisayo, ngokukhuluma okuningi nokuzibandakanya ekukhulelweni nasekuphileni komntwana lapho esezelwe kuye kwenza kwaba lula ezinganeni zethu ezindala ukubhekana nokwengezwa okusha. Manje emasontweni ayisikhombisa kunzima nganoma ubani kithi ukukhumbula ukuphila ngaphandle kwengane yethu yendodakazi.

Biography
UJennifer Shakeel ungumbhali futhi owayengumhlengikazi onolwazi lwezokwelapha olungaphezu kweminyaka eyi-12. Njengomama wezingane ezimbili ezimangalisayo onenye esendleleni, ngilapha ukuze ngihlanganyele nani engikufundile ngokuba umzali kanye nenjabulo nezinguquko ezenzeka ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa. Ngokubambisana singahleka futhi sikhale futhi sijabule ngokuthi singomama!

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