nguJennifer Shakeel
Abazali abaningi abakhulelwe bangenelwa othandweni lokuba nomntwana omusha. Sivame ukujabula kakhulu ngokufika komntwana size sikhohlwe ukucabanga ngezinguquko ezizokwenzeka, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyafuna noma cha. Nakuba kuhle ukuba umzali omusha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingane yakho yokuqala noma yesibili noma yesithathu, ukuba nomntwana kuzoshintsha impilo yakho unomphela.
Ngicabanga ukuthi kunikezwe ukuthi ubusuku obumnandi bokulala buyinto yesikhathi esedlule, futhi okungenani kumzali oyedwa, kunjalo nezihlambi ezivamile. Abazali abasha bavame ukulala amahora amabili noma amathathu ngesikhathi, ngoba usana lwabo luneshejuli yokondla kabili amahora noma amathathu. Kuyaye kwenzeke ukuthi umzali avele azumeke bese ephaphama usana lwakhe lukhala. Lolu hlelo lokulala olungajwayelekile lushintsha kancane phakathi nonyaka wokuqala wengane ojwayelekile. Ngiyayihleka lento ngempela; Nginezingane ezintathu, ezimbili zokuqala zilale ubusuku bonke kusukela ziphuma. Isengezo sakamuva kakhulu emndenini wethu, sine-ajenda eyakhe. Ngobunye ubusuku ulala ubusuku bonke, obunye ubusuku uvuka njalo ngemizuzu engama-45, ngobunye ubusuku uvuka amahora amabili noma amathathu. Nginqume ukuthi kuya ngokuthi inyanga ihlezi kuphi esibhakabhakeni kanye nalapho umoya uya ngakhona.
Ngaphezu kokungalali ngokuzumayo, ukunakekela ingane kudinga ukuzikhandla okukhulu kwamandla. Njengomzali omusha kukhona okunikezwayo, kufanele ulokhu umfunza ingane yakho, uyibhoboze, futhi ushintshe amanabukeni ayo. Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi uqaphe ingane-ngisho noma ingane isalele-ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ukuphefumula kwayo kujwayelekile. Izinsana eziningi nazo ziyaquleka, lapho kufanele usiphindaphinde isikhathi osichitha uzama ukuthulisa ukukhala kwazo. Noma bangase bafane nendodakazi yethu entsha, enezinsuku lapho ethanda khona ukuhlala iphapheme usuku lonke. Hhayi ukuthi uyaganga, noma uchitha usuku eklabalasa (yize zikhona lezo zinsuku) akafuni nje ukulala. Okungenye inselele uma kwenzeka usebenza ekhaya njengoba ngenza; usuku lwami lomsebenzi lusuke emahoreni ayisi-6 kuye kwayi-8 luye mhlawumbe emahoreni ama-2 uma nginenhlanhla. Futhi kulawo mahora amabili ngizama ukugeza futhi nginakekele nendlu.
Ingane ishintsha impilo yakho ngendlela emangalisayo ngoba awusaziphileli wena. Ngeke usakwazi ukunquma ngokuthanda kwakho ukuhamba ungaphandle kwedolobha, ubone ifilimu, noma uyothenga ngoba unosana oludinga ukunakekelwa kwakho njalo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali abaningi abasha bathola ukuthi ukuphila kwabo kugxile kakhulu ngoba bagxilisa ukuphila kwabo enganeni yabo. Isibonelo, baqala ukucabanga ngezinhlelo zokulondoloza imali yekolishi lezinsana zabo. Ngenxa yalokho, ngenxa yokuthi izidingo zabo ezingokwezimali sezishintshele enganeni yabo, abazali abasha abasachithi imali yabo njengoba benza ngaphambi kokuba umzali.
Ngaphandle kwalezi zinguquko zesakhiwo, abazali abaningi abasha bazizwa beshintsha ubuhlobo babo ngemva kokuzalwa kwengane yabo. Abazali abaningi abasha bayangqubuzana ngomunye nomunye ngesimiso sokuncelisa nokulala kwengane. Ngokwesibonelo, njengoba ngangingasakwazi ukulinda ukufika kwendodakazi yethu entsha, lapho isifikile ngangifuna ukuphinde ngiyikhulelwe ukuze kungadingeki ngiyihlanganyele nanoma ubani. Ubaba wakhe muhle, futhi udadewabo omdala kanye nomfowabo babejabule ngendlela efanayo ngokuba nguye futhi wonke umuntu wayefuna ukungena futhi amsize futhi abambe yena nazo zonke izinto ezijabulisayo, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngangifuna ukusala ngedwa naye. . Kuye ngesimo somsebenzi, omunye umzali angase ahlale ekhaya isikhathi esiningi nosana kuyilapho omunye eya emsebenzini. Abanye abazali bangase bahlukanise isikhathi esilinganayo ekunakekeleni umntwana, ikakhulukazi ebusuku lapho abazali beshintshana ngokulala.
Abazali abasha bavame ukubona ukuphila kwabo komphakathi kwehla kakhulu, ngoba usana lwabo aluvamile ukuya ezindaweni zokudlela noma kwezinye izindawo zokuvakasha. Nalapha futhi, lokhu kuzoncika enganeni yakho nokuthi ninjani njengombhangqwana. Sithanda ukuphuma siyodla isidlo sakusihlwa izikhathi ezimbalwa ngenyanga. Yinto izingane zethu ezindala ezizibheke ngabomvu, ngakho asizange sifune ukukuyeka lokho ngenxa yengane. Ngenhlanhla, ingane yethu entsha ithanda ukulala ngesidlo sakusihlwa endaweni yokudlela. Samkhipha okokuqala enezinsuku ezi-4 kuphela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuba nzima ngabangane ukuba bavakashe ngenxa yokuthi abazali banikela kakhulu ngokunaka ingane. Ngenxa yalesi simo, abazali abaningi baba abangane abasha nabanye abazali, ngakho bangakwazi ukunakekela izingane zabo ngokuhlanganyela kuyilapho bechitha isikhathi ndawonye. Kufanele ngisho, ngingomunye walabo bantu abangabazali beqembu. Iningi labangane bethu linezingane ezilingana nezingane zethu. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuba yitshe, iphepha, isikelo ukubona ukuthi yimuphi umzali ozoqondisa izingane uma sindawonye.
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi usana olusanda kuzalwa lungabeka ukucindezeleka okukhulu ebuhlotsheni bombhangqwana. Kungenzeka wazi umbhangqwana ohlale ulwa ngezingane zawo, futhi unemibono ehlukene yokuthi yini elungele izingane zabo. Imibhangqwana eminingi iyakufakazela ukuthi ayizange ilwe kwaze kwaba yilapho iba nezingane. Bangase balwe ngoba omunye umngane womshado enomuzwa wokuthi omunye akenzi ingxenye yakhe yomsebenzi wokunakekela izingane, noma okunye ayekulindele akufinyelelwanga. Kubalulekile ukuthi wena nophathina wakho nakha umugqa ovulekile wokuxhumana nobabili. Ngaphandle kwama-hormone, udinga ukukhuluma ngendlela ozizwa ngayo kanye nobaba wengane. Khumbula ukuthi ngaphambi kokuthi nibe ngabazali benishadile, futhi kusukela manje nizoba nobabili.
Kukhona nezingcindezi ezivela esakhiweni esisha somndeni. Ngokwesibonelo, obaba abaningi abasha ngokuvamile banomuzwa wokunganakwa njengoba umama enaka usana kuphela. Eqinisweni, ukunakekela usana kuphela kungokwemvelo ngo-100%, ngoba umama omusha unezintambo zofuzo ukuze anake ngokugcwele izidingo zosana. Ngakho-ke, asikho isidingo sokuba ubaba abe nomhawu noma ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo ngenxa yokukhathazeka kukamama ngengane, nakuba le mizwa ivamile. Ngenhlanhla, njengoba usana lukhula, ubuhlobo balo mbhangqwana ngokuvamile bubuyela kwesijwayelekile.
Abazali abaningi baphinde babhekane nokuntuleka kokuphila kocansi onyakeni wokuqala wokuzalwa kwengane, ngoba ukukhathala ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kuba nomthelela omkhulu emkhankasweni wabo wocansi. Bese kuba khona abazali abasha abanomfutho owengeziwe wocansi. Vulanani omunye nomunye, manje ngaphezu kwakho konke ukukhuluma nomunye kubaluleke kakhulu.
Abazali abaningi banesithakazelo esijulile sokubona ukukhula kwezinsana zabo, kusukela ekulandeleleni amakhono alo emoto kuya ekumamathekeni kwawo kokuqala. Baphinde ngenjabulo bachithe amahora esikhathi beboshiwe nengane yabo ngokulala nayo, bayidlale, futhi bayondle. Nakuba le misebenzi ingase ibonakale iyisicefe kubantu bangaphandle, ijabulisa kakhulu kubazali abasha.
Ukuba nomntwana omusha nakho kungase kukwenze ume futhi ucabange ngemisebenzi ehlukene oyenzayo. Ungase uqale ukungabaza ukuthi ukuhamba ngalolo hambo lwesithuthuthu ngaphandle kwesigqoko kuwumqondo omuhle yini. Ukuhlala isikhathi eside ngaphandle kokuba nesikhathi esihle somuntu omdala kungase kungabi into oyithakaselayo njengoba sekunomuntu omncane omusha oncike kuwe. Abazali okungenzeka ukuthi abakaze bakhiye umnyango wabo wangaphambili ngaphambi kokuba nengane manje bakwenza ngaphandle kokucabanga, ngoba babeka phambili ukuphepha kwengane yabo.
Nakuba kunokungabaza okuncane ukuthi ingane yakho entsha izobangela ushintsho empilweni yakho, cishe uzoyijabulela njalo umzuzu ngamunye wayo ngoba ukufika kwakho okusha kuzokuthatha. Abazali abaningi bayakufakazela ukuthi unyaka wokuqala wempilo uhamba ngokushesha kakhulu, futhi kuwukubheja okuhle ukuthi nawe uzozizwa ngendlela efanayo. Ngiyazi ukuthi ngakwenza...
Biography
UJennifer Shakeel ungumbhali futhi owayengumhlengikazi onolwazi lwezokwelapha olungaphezu kweminyaka eyi-12. Njengomama wezingane ezimbili ezimangalisayo onenye esendleleni, ngilapha ukuze ngihlanganyele nani engikufundile ngokuba umzali kanye nenjabulo nezinguquko ezenzeka ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa. Ngokubambisana singahleka futhi sikhale futhi sijabule ngokuthi singomama!
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