Pregnancy can be a difficult time for the expectant mother and a confusing time for the expectant father. Some men feel disconnected or even isolated when their wives are pregnant. There is a lot you can do to get involved and feel a part of the pregnancy. Knowledge is power, so spend time learning about pregnancy and birth. Support your wife or partner by sharing this special time in both your lives.
by Patricia Hughes
Pregnancy can be a difficult time for the expectant mother and a confusing time for the expectant father. Some men feel disconnected or even isolated when their wives are pregnant. There is a lot you can do to get involved and feel a part of the pregnancy. Knowledge is power, so spend time learning about pregnancy and birth. Support your wife or partner by sharing this special time in both your lives.
Learn About Pregnancy
Spend some time learning about pregnancy. This will help you understand what she is going through and be more supportive. You will feel better the more you know about pregnancy and childbirth. Read books about pregnancy and birth. The Birth Book by William and Martha Sears is a good choice. Other books have week by week information about your baby’s development. These can help you get excited about the baby as you learn about his or her weekly development.
Talk to other dads about their experiences during pregnancy. Friends who are fathers can give you some insight into pregnancy and fatherhood. If you are feeling stressed by the pregnancy, talking to another man can help you feel better and relieve any anxiety you feel about the upcoming birth or becoming a dad.
Take a Class Together
A childbirth class is a great way to learn about pregnancy and learn what to expect during the birth. Taking a class together is a good way to bring you and your partner closer together. As you learn about the birthing process, you will become a more effective coach. You will feel more involved and effective as a coach when the big day arrives.
Make an effort to attend every class. You will learn a variety of breathing techniques, relaxation exercises and other techniques for coping with the pain of child birth. Practice these at home between classes and up to the day of the birth. The more you practice, the more effective these techniques will be during labor. Practicing and preparing for the birth will help you feel closer to your partner and more a part of the pregnancy.
Go to Her Appointments
Whenever possible, attend her doctor’s appointments with her. This may not always be easy with your work schedule, but attend as many as possible. If you can’t make them all, attend the most important appointments. The key appointments include the first visit, the first time you hear the baby’s heartbeat, the ultrasound, testing and if any complications arise. Be there to share the happy times and the scary times.
Understand and Support Mom
Your partner will not always be happy during her pregnancy. Being pregnant takes a physical toll on a woman. She may be tired, uncomfortable and even grumpy at times. Hormonal changes can lead to mood swings throughout the pregnancy. Try to be understanding and don’t take it personally. Be there to love, support and comfort her during this time. Try not to be too critical. Remember that this will pass and she will be herself again.
Create a Web Page for Your Baby
If you are computer savvy, consider making a web page to celebrate your child. Create an online journal to chronicle the high points of the pregnancy. Add pictures of the ultrasound and her growing belly. This will help you feel involved and excited about the pregnancy. You can share the page with family and friends. In addition, you are creating a unique keepsake for your child. Print out the pages for the baby book. You can add a birth announcement and pictures after the birth of your baby.
Biography
Patricia Hughes is a freelance writer and mother of four. Patricia has a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University. She has written extensively on pregnancy, childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. In addition, she has written about home décor and travel.
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I feel very passionate about being an active participant throughout. We have two daughters, 2 1/2 and 8 months. I accompanied my wife to almost all of her doctor’s appointments, and I was present during both deliveries. Unfortunately, the second was chaotic due to unfavorable hospital conditions, the doctor got held up trying to find parking, whatever, so they neglected to offer me the umbilical cord to cut. Thankfully, that second time around, we had a little experience, so we were abel to make the most of it despite what was going on around us. My wife is a vocal, relatively uninhibited person, and we always discussed what was happening. I still think fathers can tend to get overlooked during this time, and that’s OK, because baby is most important, which means the focus needs to be on mom. However, dads need to be present emotionally and physically. Mom needs to be safe, comfortable and loved. I’m absolutely convinced that baby reflects that. We have two wonderful, happy children. Everyone comments on how happy they are, so it’s not just a proud father talking. I have a website with a blog and a photo album. We have nearly 13,000 photos dating back to the day before the birth of our first daughter. We have family everywhere- New York, Florida, California, even China. The website helps keep us all together. It’s a beautiful thing. I wouldn’t trade the whole experience for anything.